So reckless for putting my kindness, my compassion outwards into the world,
Knowing the cruelty could creep in and destroy me....
I tremble at the thought of relieving myself from this misery, cutting until I would see the throbbing slashes on my arm...
I have been kind and tried letting go, creating a new path...
But in return, I failed at what I wanted and life and its evil essence took me instead, claiming my energy and giving pain back...
I want to become cruel, to hurt than be hurt...
So eventually I wouldn't have to go through this so much...
So desperate to find love, I found myself dating people from almost all of the world.
I rushed into it, feeling I could be happy with someone...
But how could I? When I'm not happy with myself...
People try and point out what's the best about me, but I wave it off for I hear it so many times to count.
I have failed massively, making myself more miserable than I could imagine...
I was never happy...
All it was is relief and false hope.
