The Better To Ear You With, Dear Aphrodite

The goddess of love and beauty knew something was up. Aphrodite had heard whispering in the halls of Olympus for weeks whenever she approached. But it was going to end today. She could charm anyone into doing her bidding, and her father was no exception.

The goddess padded quietly down the gleaming white hallway, past the paintings who seemed to stare at her ethereal beauty with a mix of envy and admiration. She approached the Great Doors inlaid with gold and rosewood carvings of the Olympian council's greatness, beyond which she knew they were meeting. She silently put her dainty ear to the hard, cold door.

Listening closely, she could hear Dionysus whispering excitedly, "Oh, I can't wait! There will be cakes, and wine, and dancing, and wine. Did I mention wine?"

"Yes" said the rest of the Olympian Council, "at least a thousand times."

"Silence!" commanded Zeus, the head of the Olympian Council and king of the gods, "we do not want Aphrodite to hear."

Aphrodite pulled away from the door. What could they be planning? A ball she was not invited to? She would change that!

Aphrodite burst into the room, and the gods did a double take. There were murmurings of "What did she hear?" " Why does she look mad?" and "Look at Zeus, he is so angry!"

Sure enough, when Aphrodite turned to face her adopted father, he was purple with rage.

"Aphrodite, WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?!" Zeus exclaimed.

"I have heard enough to infer that you have planned a party and not invited me! Why else would I not be allowed to attend this meeting?" she said defiantly.

"You were not allowed to attend this meeting because it was a surprise gala in your honor!" bellowed Zeus.

A faint, "Oh" was all Aphrodite could manage to utter as understanding dawned on her exquisite features.

"Too many times, my dear daughter, you have pushed the limits of my patience and my leniency. Your great beauty does not forgive your impulsive behavior. And my love for you does not mean that you will always get special treatment when you behave poorly."

"Your punishment is thus. I give you gray wrinkly skin so you can never charm someone again. I give you bulk so you will never roam unnoticed. I give you a huge nose to remind you to not stick it in other's affairs, and finally, because you seem so intent on hearing what is not meant for your ears, I give you ears so big you can not help but hear all! I hope this will help you recall the wrong you did! I give you this punishment for ten years!" admonished Zeus. The Olympians gasped at the new Aphrodite. For as Zeus had spoken the words, all of these changes in Aphrodite's person had come to be. Out of shock and sheer embarrassment, she fled to the far off lands of India where she remained in self imposed exile for the full term of her punishment, living as an elephant.

It was a humbling time for the beautiful goddess, and one that afforded her the time to acquire knowledge, patience and peace.