"..alright, my turn." Jon began his fingers subtly tracing mine. "finding a shirt that fits you in length and width when you're 6'0-"
I shrugged looking up at him from beneath my lashes "you don't need one."
His fingers stopped.
We're three months into this- whatever this is. And his self control, cute in the beginning, but now driving me crazy. I knew why those words came out of my mouth. Because I needed to spell it out for him.
I was tired of waiting for him to make the first move. He kept cradling me like this fragile thing he didn't want to break. All I can think about were those cradling hands... doing other things... and it was about time he noticed.
His eyes studied my face- tracing from my long lashes down to my lips bruised from biting on them.
Something flickered in his eyes. A need I'm sure was as deep as mine. Just when I thought maybe he'd take our thing to the next level he changes the subject.
"How's your family?" He ended our little game/challenge of who has life hardest.
I slumped back in the diner's red cushioned chair and crossed my arms over my chest. Narrowing my eyes at him, I considered walking out of there and leaving him behind. Rejection was not a pleasant feeling.
We finished eating our dinner in silence. Not waiting for him to pay the bill, I stood and walked out of the small diner- too embarrassed to ever face him again.
Moments later he followed behind me. A few steps, always a few steps behind me. But I continued to act as though he didn't exist. As though his presence didn't elicit a tremble in my heart that hurt like hell. What was wrong with me? Was I that repulsive that he didn't want to be with me in that way?
I quickened my step. All of my weight seemed to escape my body and lay on my chest. Jon stalked closely behind me, never breaking stride.
When I reached my apartment door, he didn't wait for me to invite him in. He pushed the door open as it was shutting behind me. Grabbing me by the shoulders, Jon swung me around and pushed me against the wall. He kicked the door shut with his foot, never breaking eye contact.
"What do you want?" he cooed against my forehead.
I bowed my head to the side. Chest rising and falling with the beat of my heart.
There was no way I was going to put myself in a position for him to reject me. And if he tried to give me what I wanted out of pity, then he would be met with a door in his face.
"Tell me what you want and I'll happily serve." Jon lifted my chin with the hand that wasn't resting on the wall behind me.
I opened my mouth to say something, his eyes lingered on them. My tongue decided that maybe if they traveled over my lips he'd understand without me having to speak.
"Go to sleep." He placed a chaste kiss on my cheek and stormed out.
