Heaven's Light (Book 1)

Chapter 3 - Ashura

 I've screwed up so much already.

I thought that maybe I could forget my past and start anew with this first friend of mine, but then Breckus had to screw everything up. I was finally starting to like the idea of being around people and helping out when it became dangerous. Now, it's just complicated.

I was grateful Jeriah hadn't asked about Breckus and how I met him, or what role he had in my past. I wasn't up for explaining that crap. Or any of my backstory crap, for that matter. It was all just crap that I had to live with, anyway. A weight on my shoulders. It was for me to carry, not others.

Meeting the members of Heaven's Light was truly exciting for me. I never felt so anxious to meet people before. I wasn't sure of what I would say to them. Would I keep hiding my past from them, or would I finally be honest? Could I bring myself to admit what I'd done? Thinking about releasing all this pent up information nearly brought tears to my eyes; I couldn't imagine sharing the burden I carried. It was too much of a luxury for me to comprehend.

The more I thought about befriending fellow wizards, the more my mind wandered back to the troll incident. How could I allow myself to be selfish enough to risk those people's lives again? How could I expect them to accept my flaws? I didn't know them. They had no reason to believe my intentions were good. They barely had reason to believe I wasn't in league with the troll or with Breckus.

How I could possibly succeed in befriending these people?

My past life experiences from beyond six months ago were little help to me in the real world. My father had no idea what the actual human world was like, and he had no way of ever finding out. How was he supposed to know that humans were loathsome, conniving creatures? How could he possibly know anything about human friendship and trust?

I hated my kind.

Jeriah and I were walking through the forest back to town. The green lollipop trees were swaying in the breeze of the night sky. The little yellow lights of town could be seen about a mile ahead in the distance. I had travelled quite far from town, yet Jeriah still came looking for me. It touched me how thoughtful he could be.

I know I had only met this guy yesterday, but he was genuinely kind and didn't care about what I may have done in the past. He didn't allow the spontaneous attacks to waver his opinion of me. He separated a person's past from their present and their future. I could just feel a strong bond capable of forming between us.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I physically stumbled over my own feet after passing by a few torches signaling the approach of the town. I heard the faintest snicker behind me as I regained my balance and continued moving.

The two of us walked back to the Heaven's Light guild hall in comfortable silence. It was a peaceful evening, very dark. Little birds were chirping silently as they were encircling their nests, preparing to turn in for the night. I was jealous of those birds: so innocent, so free, so privileged, so loved. Everything I wasn't. They had everything I lost within the past six months.

I stole a glance over my shoulder and almost didn't see Jeriah right behind me. His black cloak was almost impossible to see in the darkness. If the torches hadn't emitted any light, I would've passed his whole presence off as a collection of migrating shadows.

I shivered as the night ushered in a new wave of arctic air.

Jeriah was almost too fast to react. "Are you cold? Do you need to borrow my cloak?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his concern. I left the question unanswered and, instead, flicked my wrist at the flame of a torch passing by, feeling the small churn of magical energy flow within me. The breeze I had summoned whisked over to the torch and squeezed between the flames. As I drew it back toward me, a small, flickering spark of a flame was riding the wind effortlessly, my magical energy feeding into the intensity of its light. I felt the warmth of the ember as it floated beside me, succeeding in granting me sufficient warmth for the walk. This was a trick I had to learn after I was left alone to wander around and survive.