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Chapter One
I feel the cold of the winter air against my skin. The wind bites as I walk down the path I was once forced to walk, holding my dear babe Sarah before she was taken from me by the sweet caress of death. The memories from the attack flood my mind although I don't think of them as traumatic or scarring. Seeing my family dead in the snow will always stick in my mind and bring me to tears but being taken captive by the Indians brought out a new and greater part of me that I never could have known if they had not taken me. I hear my name being called from behind and turn to see Samuel walking down the path towards me. "Hello darling," He says as he approaches me "I see that you are on another one of your memory walks". I always tend to take walks by myself on this path, I love to be able to remember what I've gone through, even if it was not a fond memory and does not bring me great joy, I am able to remember Sarah, and I can see her soft gentle face and feel her in my arms. "Why yes, I guess I have ended up on this path once again." We begin to make our way back to our home. We walk in silence admiring the wilderness around us. When we finally arrive back at our house a feeling of unease comes over me, a flashback to the attack and an image of my home on fire overwhelms me. I'm sure that samuel took notice as he moved closer to me and took hold of my hand. The warmth from him brings me comfort and calms my worries.
We enter the house and are greeted by Marie, her red hair pulled back into a braid. After being taken captive by the Indians, Alawa taught me how to braid, i found it fascinating and Marie loves when i do it to her hair, she says it makes her feel like she's back with the Indians. Since we returned i always put her hair into braids when we are at home, although when we go out i make her take it out, if anyone were to see an english girl with braided hair they would surely think that she was overcome by Indian traditions and customs. From the front of the house I hear my youngest babe calling for me, I go to hush her and run into clara, when Samuel and I got married we decided that we should rebuild my old home, some may think that having family killed and my house burned on this plot of land would make me never want to come back but i do not think I would want to live anywhere else. We build extra rooms for Samuel's family members when they come for a visit and a room for his younger sister, Clara. She lives with us along with her two children. Her husband was slaughtered by Indians but she was able to get her children and escape, Samuel found her and took her in, she lived with him for a while until Samuel and i met and fell in love, once she found that he was going to build a new house and live with me she did not know what to do, she had no other home. I told her that we would build a room for her and her children and that if she were to live with them that she would have to watch my children and do some work around the house when i went out to the shops. She was delighted and took the offer immediately.
Since the attack I was not able to see James again, I was not sure if he had went to another Indian tribe or if he decided to come back to English life. I think of him daily, I feel like its betrayal to Samuel and that he should have all of my love but I am never able to get the image of James out of my mind. Every time i go to the shops i hope to see him in the printers but he is never there. As much as i want to see him again i know that it is not a good idea and that i must forget all of the fantasies that come over me when I think of him.
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Chapter Two
I awoke this morn, Samuel had already got out of bed to go tend to the children. Since we got married he always helps with them before i wake. I get out of bed, dress and head out to the shops. As I step outside the door I feel the breeze of cold air against my face, the shops are not far and the walk there gives me time for myself and to think. As I walk I think of James, I think of him to often and it saddens me that Samuel does not know my love is not all his. I arrive at the shops and head to the general store, i needed to get some patches to fix up one of Marie's skirts and a pair of Samuel's trousers. I walk past the printer shop and look into see if I see James. I always look but I know that he's never going to be there. I feel the same feeling of sadness and disappointment every time. I push those feelings to the back of my mind and remember what I came for, I make my way to the bakery to get more bread for dinner. As I step inside the building I see a familiar figure in front of me, the shape of his muscles and his large yet comforting frame, he turns to see who has come into the building, when he sees that it is me he stops.
