Spilled Ink

He is alcohol.

You said you'd never leave me and at one point I knew maybe it wasn't ment to be you'd always talk about our "forever" how we'd get married and have kids and I knew it was gonna hurt once its over once you finally realized that there's no possible way to fix someone so broken and I'd count ever cigarette you'd smoke wondering when you'd feel as empty as I did. I guess you finally realized how much of a fuck up I was and that's why you probably left. I wouldn't blame you I can't even Handel myself but you taught me how to drink. Drops of alcohol stung my cherry lips streamed through my pure veins and poisoned my thin blood. My vision blurred and my body felt unbearably incapacitated
yet as if I was floating on air at the same time.
The strange thing about being intoxicated is you will feel euphoric
as your senses heighten and your inner child finally comes out to play.
But in actuality you know you are being constricted inescapably trapped in your fears forcibly dragged to the floor and you cannot bring yourself back up. You taught me how to feel this way. Like everything was right as rain when I knew that in reality
my imagination had been ceased
and I had become a person nothing other than a voiceless girl belonging to his selfish arms and you made sure to hold me tight vigorously forcing me back at my escape. every time a relapse.