Angel's Eye View

First one up: Mom

Sitting in the chair beside my body, my mother looked broken. All she was doing was crying and mumbling to herself about me and how I never gave any signs of wanting to kill myself. I could hear her continue to question herself and the world more and more as she sat there crying and staring at me. This was not the woman I knew to be my mother. This was a new person. Her brown hair, which was once so bright and shiny, had dulled slightly, her brown eyes were vacant, and she seemed so fragile compared to the strength I had known her to have. It hurt to see my mom look like that. Never had there been such sorrow and agony in her. Even though her job never really made her happy, she was never so upset as she was now.

Thinking back on my life, I remember all the great times with my mom. She took me to my first hockey game which eventually became my favorite sport and one of our favorite things to do together. Many great things happened with me and my mom granted it wasn't always perfect. We fought and had many issues that still aren't solved and never will be.

The door opened and my step dad walked in.  He went directly to my mother and wrapped his arms around her. That's all she had now. It was just him. All of the world in her eyes had narrowed down to a man she had begun to realize didn't truly love her as much as she thought he did. I had done this to her. Even after all of the things that had happened, this was still my fault. Watching the detirioration of my mother's life reminded me of the many reasons I had for doing things as I had done. Why should I regret my decision? I removed myself from her life to save her from the disappointmment of having me for a daughter which she expressed a very large amount of times.

    

     What is the point of sending me back? I knew this was going to happen. I planned it to happen this way. So what my mom only has a heartless man left to take care of her? What did she leave me?