Lonely Girl

Chapter One

The room was empty and bright for the first time. Her usual dark dull curtains were no longer hanging and the dresser was cleared. The mac and channel makeup was gone and the bed was naked. The old pictures were torn down while smoke stains covered the walls instead. What once was a closet was now a big empty box. On the right dresser toward the bathroom door laid a note. The paper was torn and appeared to be tossed on the bed with no care in the world. My hand moved toward the letter but I was unsure of how to react. I took a step back and sucked in all the air around me. Just do it! I reached for the letter again and my eyes scanned the paper.

            Child, I’ve been thinking about this for ages and well I can’t do this anymore. Being a mother was never something I intended to do. I tried and I have failed. I am sorry for the pain I might cause you but you deserve better. Here is your father’s number… 705-682-9869 if anyone will take care of you it would be him.                                      

                                                                                                Xoxo Lilly Fox

My knees hit the grown while the palms of my hands covered my eyes. My heart was no longer there, it vanished like my mother. Lost words filled the air and the biggest lump formed in my throat. The water didn’t stop falling from my eyes as I stared at the letter. My hands began shaking again. The room got slightly darker as clouds started forming in the sky. As I took a deep breath the rain began to poor. My lungs felt trapped inside a box with minimal amount of oxygen. Rubbing my eyes I moved for the phone. I slowly dialed my “dads” number.

            “Hello?” A man’s voice answered. The voice was light yet masculine.

            “Hi, this is uh…your daughter Fenella.” I spoke softly.

            “Excuse me?”

Anger filled inside me replacing my sadness. “Fe-nel-ah” I said again pronouncing my name. “I am your daughter. You know that’s what happens when two teenagers don’t think and let their ranging hormones control them.”

            “I think you have the wrong number.”

            “Lilly Fox! You know the women with short black hair around 5’6?”

There was silence.

“Forget it never mind.” There was no point in entering another person’s world when my own mother didn’t want me. My father was never in my life so why would he start now?

            “No wait! I remember her but she never said she had a daughter.” He seemed disappointed almost betrayed and then from there I told him what happened. I didn’t let my brain process what was happening I just knew I needed to tell someone. I needed the pain to somehow go away even if I was only convincing myself. The last thing I remembered was him saying I’ll be there tomorrow.

My mother never used those words instead she’d say I won’t be staying long. See you in a few days. Sometimes those days would turn into weeks then months but she never brought all her stuff until this time. I guess it was bound to happen I mean there were signs but I didn’t want to notice them, who would?

I ended up in my room for a few hours staring at the ceiling. I didn’t want to say goodbye to my friends I didn’t even want to move. I felt like my body was okay with the fact that my brain wanted me to decompose. I started to wonder if my dad would really show up. I mean what if he didn’t want me? There must have been a reason my mother didn’t want me to know about him, right? Everything seemed confusing. Normal people might have still thought about it but before I knew it was morning. I was still in the same position, lying there with no thoughts until a knock on the door broke my trance. I thought it was only one knock but apparently it was more.