Forever Isn't Just A Word

Chapter Five: The Weekend (part 1)

He looked at me as I flinched. I was ready for him to backtalk me, to kick me out of his house. To tell me I was crazy and to leave his life. For me to walk away from it all and leave LA before someone else finds out. To hit me, maybe. No, he's not physically violent....is he?

He just looked at me, frozen. It was clear on his face he wasn't sure how to react. But he still hadn't left. In fact, he hadn't even moved at all. Even his breathing lightened, matching my shallow gulps of air. 

I was sitting there, in a t-shirt and black skinny jeans, my hair all messy and my cheeks stained and puffy from crying. He was in shorts that looked similar to boxers, but millions of times before assured me they weren't. His muscles were frozen, and it was obvious since his chest was free of any clothing. I had just slept in mine. 

It appeared time was in slow motion. The sky was still dark, the dim kitchen light had brightened, lighting up the corner of our eyes. The living room was dark, our shadows frozen on the floor beneath us. I didn't know what to expect. I'd just told Josh one of my biggest secrets. I was just desperate for acceptance. I guess it's been a while since I've gotten what I've wanted. 

He just smiled after a while. He then hugged me closer, letting me know he wasn't mad. I let out a heavy breath that was being held in. "Thank you." I mumbled as a relief swept across me. 

He smiled down at me. "Of course! Why would that break up our friendship?" He laughed. 

I shrugged. "I guess I just wasn't expecting, well, I don't know what I was and wasn't expecting." 

He smiled at me as he let go, both of us leaning against the couch. "The only problem we'd ever have is if you fell in love with me." We burst out laughed. 

"Me? Loving you?" I just laughed harder. "I love you as my best friend, of course. You're just not, well, my type, I guess? I dunno how to say it other than we'll never have to worry about that. I'm not going to fall in love with and that's a promise I'm keeping forever. Even if there's an afterlife, I'll settle down with someone else...." I started to ramble on.  

He laughed. "I get it! I get it! And obviously you're not my type either. Well, actually, your gender doesn't suite me very well." He teased with a wink. 

"Oh yeah! Okay, so I have these pills," I wedged between what we were saying. "They help keep my...condition...under control. I take them every morning, and take some pills at night so I don't have, well a, an episode? I don't know what to call it. Anyways, and sometimes in the middle of the day I take, some other ones. Another story for another night, yeah?" I said. 

He nodded. "Okay. So I'm assuming you didn't take your pills last night?" He asked. I shook my head. "So...who's Cliff?" He finally asked. 

I blushed. He nodded. "Ah, he's not real, is he?" He asked in a gentle and soft tone. 

I bit the inside of my lip, looking at the couch's armrest behind Josh. "Of course I'm real? Who does this guy think he is, claiming people aren't real-" He babbled. on. 

I shrugged. "I don't think he is....well, he should go away soon, I think. I can only ever remember to take the pills. Sometimes, for some reason, I just forget what they do sometimes." I shrugged. "But that's what I also wanted to tell you...." I dragged on the last word. He looked at me eagerly, to let me know to move on. "I have check-ups with the doctors on Tuesday for it, would you come?" 

He nodded. For some reason, I was nervous that he'd say no. "Duh! What are best friends for?!" He said in a girly voice and I couldn't help but giggle at how free and open he appeared to be. 

"For shopping?" I made a 'girly' voice (I know I'm a girl but you know what I mean) and followed with a cheesy giggle. 

"Yes girl!" He said in a sassy voice while snapping his fingers in the air.