letters

Where is me?

12172015
Thursday
In my room.

Listening to the radio

"If I show you my flaws,
tell me honestly
would you still love me anyway"

What is the title?

I don't know.

😁😁😁😁

Hi future,

Picture this.

You wake up with a smile in your face and you feel all giddy, you want to shout out to the world how happy you are.

And then pagdating mo sa office you heard your ka opisina said,

"Hay ano ba yan, 3 hours lang tulog ko!!"

Haist.

there she goes..

Nakalainis talaga ang mga taong di p nag sisimula ang araw puro reklamo na.

haist.

I tried to, promise sinusubukan kong maging positive.

Pero ang hirap.

You should learn from me ha, don't let this type of people affects you.

Alam mo, I tried to change them which was totally a bad move from me.

kaloka!!!

May superhero side kasi ako eh, ayan tuloy ako ang talo.

One thing I learn,

I am not responsible for everybody.

Alam ko na sasbihin mo, that I should have known.

Wala eh, matigas talaga ulo ng lola mo.

As day goes by, Na stress out ako ng bonggang bongga to the point I want to quit.

Buti na lang may friend ako na positive pa rin.

Hallelluia!!

Ang hirap.

Ang hirap na nakikita mong nag rereklamo ang iba, samantalang ang dali ng problem nila.

They complain about the money, the work load and other petty things, that can be easily resolved by the things that surrounds them.

Yes, the answer is right in front of them.

Ako?

Ano problema ko?

Sarili ko.

I don't know what I want.

I have a wonderful job, tiring and stressful but it supports me and my family financially. I have great set of friends, who are the source of my roller coaster emotions and finally I have a very loving and understanding family, who is  my everything.

And when I say everything, I mean it.

Yes, both positive and negative ang meaning non.

Anyway, you see I have almost everything I needed.

Almost, kasi wala pa rin akong boyfriend.

O bakit? 25 is still young!

ka-pressure to!, para kang mga kabataan ngayon sa year ko. #Lovelife ang problema, Aba matinde!

Wow! ano to!? ganun ganun na lang!?

Haist..

Anyway, as I was saying yun na nga sa kabila ng mga biyaya sa buhay ko patuloy pa rin ako sa paghahanap sa isang bagay na di ko alam kung ano.

Kaya ako naiinis sa mga taong na ang problema ay mga materyal na bagay.

Oo, I don't know "their" stories but c'mon!. Wag silang sumabay sa mid life crisis ko.

Chareng!

I am so fed up by this society, sa social media, makapag post ng "I love my Job" wagas pero sa personal wagas maka reklamo.

That is why I don't trust the internet, when it comes to emotions.

Hindi porket pinost selfie ay nakangiti siya ay masaya talaga siya, sometimes pictures can deceive.

Internet is like a mask used to hide someones' true emotions.

See, I am turning to be like them.

Haist.

Kinausap ko manager ko kanina sabi ko gusto ko na mag resign.

He asked me why, sagot ko

" I don't know. I really don't know"

And it is true.

I myself don't know the answer.

All I want is to get away from this room of darkness. I feel lost and I feel like no one is there is to find me.

Oo I am christian. Pero nakakahiya itong attitude ko towards life, I am like this every single time na nahaharap ako sa isang kalabang di ko malaman ang kahinaan.

Nakakahiya.

I know for  fact that God can change the situation if I only trust him wholeheartedly.

I know it, yet most of the times I hardly believe it.

Ang hirap maniwala lalo na kapag sobrang hirap ng challenge, na para bang walang katapusan ng mga ito.

Ang hirap.

Mas mahirap kapag mag-isa ka lang, as in literal na mag isa ka lang.

Don't get me wrong ha, I still have my friends, my parents but I still feel alone.

Ewan ko ba, I really don't know why I feel like this.

May katiting pang positivity sa puso ko, I know God can change this.

Nothing is impossible to him.

tiwala lang talaga.

Sana naman may natutuhan ka sa chickahan naten, yaan mo next time mas masaya ang topic.

Ang payo ko sayo, Pray lang ng pray and when you pray don't follow any rules, just follow your heart.

Let it all flow, you can be honest to him, he will not judge you.

Why?

Because he LOVES you.

TTYL

XoXo,

past.