By Opposing, End Them

Chapter II

     I woke up in the fetal position, still unable to feel anything. Gradually I became aware that I was lying in grass, and that it was daytime. I rolled onto my back and squinted against the light of the sky. The sun was beginning to set, and there was not a cloud in the sky. I sat up to better take in my surroundings. I saw that I was in a large grassy depression. Each blade of grass was utterly flawless, which struck me as utterly odd. There were no weeds, no brown patches, only lush grass as far as I could see. There was a pond at the bottom, sparkling blue in the early evening light. The air was cool, but not as cold as it had been in the bar. I flipped down my collar and undid the belt on my coat to compensate. I went down to the pond, wondering all the while where the devil I was. I kneeled down by the water and looked at my reflection. 

     God, the man was right. I did look awful. I took off my fedora to get a better look. My usually tan skin had taken on a strange pallor, and there were deep bags under my bloodshot eyes. I was sporting a rather aggressive five-o'-clock shadow, and my hair was a complete mess. I splashed my face with the cool water and slicked back my hair as best I could. I looked somewhat better than before, but it wasn't much. 

     It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea who the man in the bar was. I fished his business card out of my coat pocket. It was a plain white card, with the words "Johnathan Carson, accountant" printed in plain lettering. I was struck by the sheer ordinariness of the card, falling back in loud laughter. After having a good laugh, I looked up at the sky for a while, still wondering where I was. I resolved to find hints of civilization.

     I had gotten up and replaced my fedora when I noticed a stirring in the water. A large koi fish was prowling for food in the muck. It was beautifully colored, vibrant orange patches offset by gentle white. I looked around me and saw the first imperfection in the grass: a few bread crumbs that an unknown hand had given to an unknown bird and were left uneaten. I picked them up and tossed them to the fish. It eyed the crumbs warily for a while, then quickly swallowed them and swam away. I waited for the ripples to settle before I set off in a random direction.

     I walked straight ahead for a while, watching the sun sink lower in the sky. I heard the distant chirps of birds, but I could not place their calls. It was a pity; at least then I would have some idea where I was. I continued on, strolling through the universally perfect grass.

     Then, just as the sun was touching the horizon, I heard music. There was an orchestra playing not far from here. I whooped for joy and ran towards the welcome music.

     As I came to the top of a rolling hill, I saw it. There was an outdoor auditorium cut tastefully into the side of a hill. Thousands of people were watching eagerly as the distant conductor vigorously directed the orchestra into the finale. I did not recognize the tune, but though it was strangely discordant in my ears, it still moved me deeply. The orchestra sounded its final triumphant chord, and the audience sprang into wild applause. I could not help but join them from my distant viewpoint. After the applause died down, the conductor turned to speak a few words that I could not hear. Abruptly the entire audience stood, along with the orchestra, and held their right hands above their heads with their index fingers pointed downwards. I was puzzled by this, but I pushed it aside as an unimportant matter. The crowd gave one final round of applause as the orchestra took their bows and exited. The people began to disperse, chattering excitedly. I watched as they filed into tunnels that I had not noticed before. As the last of the crowd dispersed, I made my way to the auditorium.

     It was well past sunset when I arrived. The auditorium was much larger than I had first thought. I estimated that ten thousand people could fit in here. I looked at the seats. They were plush red velvet, and they looked mighty comfortable. I sat down in one and found that my judgment was correct. I found myself drowsily sinking into the chair when I heard a strange whirring sound. I looked and saw that strange machines were rolling through the aisles, evidently sweeping up trash. I stood up in alarm as one of the machines approached me. It stopped in front of me, and I took the opportunity to get a closer look at it. It was about three feet tall and nearly as wide as the aisle. It was dark green and boxy, with a rotating broom in the front to gather trash. There was a single blue circle in the center- an eye, perhaps? There was a speaker next to the circle. I suddenly realized that I was looking at an honest-to-God robot.

     "Please clear the way," it said in a clear, respectful voice. I gaped in awe at it. "Please clear the way," it repeated. I could not find words.

     "Y-you're a robot," I eventually stammered. If it had a face, I was reasonably certain that it would be bemused.

     "Unit B-4774," it said. "Please clear the way."

     An idea struck me. "Where am I?" I asked.

     "Levine National Auditorium," it replied. I did not recognize the name.

     "Where?"

     "Levine National Auditorium," it said with supreme patience. "Please clear the way."

     "What nation?" I asked.

     "Omnimundi."

     I was taken aback. The name was completely foreign to me. "What day is today?" I asked.

     "November 7th." It was good to hear that they still used normal days. One final question occurred to me.

     "What year is it?" 

     "557 U.E.," it replied. I reeled at the news. "Please clear the way." I finally obliged, running down to the stage. 

     I ran up the stairs and looked out into the sea of seats, thoroughly distraught. I felt lightheaded and dizzy. There was an open door that led into the backstage area, where hopefully there would be a source of water. I stumbled backstage and started searching wildly. Eventually, I found one. I desperately stabbed the button and gratefully drank the cold water. I splashed some on my face to help reorient myself. Overwhelmed by desperation, I collapsed, my back against the cinder block wall. After calming my breath, I looked up to see another robot, this one tall and dark blue. Two arms extended from its body, each ending in a handcuff. Obviously, this one was meant for security purposes.

     "You are trespassing on state property," it said in a deep, authoritative voice. "Please remain where you are. Do not move. An officer will be here shortly." I obliged, staring up at the machine. A few minutes passed in complete silence. Soon I heard the distant whine of what I judged to be a police siren. I closed my eyes and relaxed, wanting to be anywhere, anywhere at all, away from this infernal place.