Multiple [h.s] - ON HOLD

Chapter 4

"I really have to get going. It's getting late," Rogan said kissing my forehead.

"If you really want to leave you have to get dressed now because if you don't, you won't get to leave."

"You promise?" He asked with a cocky grin.

"You just killed the moment. Now leave,'' I chuckled pushing him off of me. He got dressed in his clothes and I in my nightgown and I accompanied him to the door where he surprised me with a long passinate kiss.

"I sure will miss you when you're gone," I said pulling away from the sweet bliss of a kiss.

"I will miss you too. I had fun tonight. Stay rad Leighton," he gave me one last peck and walked away to his car. He turned around before he opened his door. "I love you." Then he got in and left.

Holy shit.

The words I have been dreading since we started whatever the fuck this is. It is against the rule to say that. You can't love a booty call.

"Did you tell him about your foolish behaviour last night,'' mom's voice came from behind me.

I turned around to see that her face was red and her hair was messy. She has been crying again. "Fuck off mom," I said pushing past her to my room. I seriously can't wait for Sunday.

I layed on my bed last night contemplating between sleep and asking Rogan what he meant by those words. In all my life I have never heard anyone say that to me other than Kelly. Not even my parents. Hell. I don't even know what the words mean. So it felt strange hearing it being directed to me.

Needless to say I didn't get much sleep for the next three days just thinking about Rogan. I didn't understand why it meant something to me because I layed down the rules. Rule number one was we fuck with no emotions. Emotions complicate things. It makes you weak and fragile and I don't want to end up like my mom. I don't want to end up being tricked into marriage because of love and end up living a life like this. A life that would make me so loathful and bitter. I don't want to be trapped like mom is. Believing that my husband is some sort of god who will save me. I have come down to reality now and saw the world for what it really is. Nothing good ever lasts but every bad thing will continue for eternity. Proof to that would be my parents marriage.

"Ready for fucking college bitch?" Kelly broke me out of my thoughts.

"Of course. This day couldn't have come any sooner. Bye bye Texas and hello Californian beach!" Don't get me wrong. I was thrilled about studying psychology and figuring out ways to help people who are mentally unstable. I decided on studying psychology when I was fifteen and stared to notice mom's continuous fall into depression. But come on. California.

"I'm surprised you didn't say 'hello beautiful tanned college boys of California' or should I rather say Rogan?" She mocked. The mention of his name brought back a memory I would rather forget. And the only way to do that was to get laid. Tonight.

"Speaking of Rogan," I lowered my voice. "On Thursday he dropped the fucking  'L' word before he left."

The only reaction I got from Kelly was a laugh. "What did you expect? A year of banging and he wouldn't eventually fall for you? I told you your game is dangerous."

"I was hoping he wouldnt. I didn't!"

"You sure you didn't? Because if you didn't then why are you making a big deal out of it?"

"Because uh," I struggled to find my words. "Because he broke the number one rule."

"Sure babe. Sure."