I sat bolt upright shivers running up and down my spine. My breath came in gasping burst as I tried to shake off the nightmare. I collapsed back onto my pillows trying to forget when I felt her by my side again.
I turned and groaned into my pillows, "Keres, I told you to leave me alone. Gods, you can't even leave me alone when I'm trying to sleep."
She turned me back over so she could see me and carressed my cheek, "But Ciar," she pouted slightly, "I'm just showing you clips of all the wonderful things that we did together."
I tried to push her away but my hand went through. I hated it when she switched forms on me. "Those things, were not wonderful."
"They were, and you know it," she moved in closer to whisper in my ear. "Just give in to the psychopath I know and love."
The offer was tempting, but I couldn't take it. I cupped her face in my hands and leaned in close my lips mere centimeters from her own shadowy ones. She looked at me hopeful. "Go away," I said stifling a smirk as the hope in her eyes died. "As your master, I hereby exile you temporarily," and just like that Keres was gone.
I curled back up into a ball under the covers shaking uncontrollably. The warm imprint of her hand stayed on my face. Sporadic shudders of fear ran through my body as I remembered the images. The people on the floor, faces torn beyond all recognition. Broken screams, blood spatters, a knife in my hand, the sound of maniacal laughter omitting from my own mouth, and Keres... by my side, as she always is. Even when exiled. Sobs tore out of my throat. It was a good thing my parents weren't home or else they'd start asking questions.
I cried and cried until my throat felt like sandpaper and my eyes felt dry. I tried making myself as small as possible ignoring the whispers of the shadows as I clung to my pillow. It was freezing in here even though I had the heater turned up. Pain blossomed in my chest from heartache.
The things I've done
The people now dead
The lies I've told
The blood on my hands
All of these things constantly weighed on my mind. The memories plague my dreams, their screams always, always, filling my ears even though they're long gone. These were the reasons I hated Keres, why I wish she would just leave me alone, but she can't. Our souls are bound and so she is forever by my side. Haunting my daily life and my dreams at night. It was truly terrible. But I caused it. The words echoed in the back of my head.
I wanted to scream, cry, bang my head against a wall, tear myself apart, punch something, and just sleep all at once. I have never felt so conflicted than as of this moment.
Why me? Why did I have to be the special one? Special.... I pondered this word. Yeah, I was special, but in the worst way. My parents weren't my real parents. I wasn't what everyone thought I was. I could come up with a lie as easily as a knife cuts through butter. I wasn't as weak as I looked. And I most definitely wasn't as okay as everyone thought I was. Nobody knew but I was always screaming for help but no one could hear.
Panic constricts my chest. I can't breathe. I'm drowning in an ocean of fear and misery and no one ever taught me to swim.
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Sorry if it's short I tried making it longer than the rest. I hope you liked this chapter and feedback is always lovely.
