Mend My Broken Life

July 7, 2011

I walk home from work and the first thing I smell is the stench of the alcohol my dad has been drinking. Then I hear my dad say something that really hurts me.

"Savannah. You little piece of trash. You're worth nothing. Why are you even here? I don't wanna look at you and see the ugly thing you call your face."

*If you want to listen to music to get into the story, I highly recommend listening to "For the Love of a Daughter," by Demi Lovato.*

I try to walk away from him quickly, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him. I try to resist but he holds a strong grip on my arm. My dad twists my right arm so I end up facing him. I look at him with a scared expression on my face. All he does is smile and brings his left hand up. I look to him in desperation. He laughs, and slaps me in the face. SMACK! My dad slapped me so hard, I start to feel dizzy from my head jerking back with so much force. Then I feel the pain. It's excruciating. He pushes me down to the floor.

"Stay there. It's where you belong."

After my dad said that, he kicked me. He kicked me in the stomach, so hard, I lose my breath for a good 10 seconds. He leaves, snickering to himself and I hear the door slam. He's going out to drink again. I regain my strength and run down to the basement. I race down the stairs and stumble into the dark cold basement. I walk down there a little and sit down on the floor, with my back against the wall. My feet are in front of me. There's a window just above my head thats shining the sunlight into the basement. The sunlight lights the place up. I just sit there, letting my eyes flutter shut, and stay shut for a good 15 minutes.

Run away.

Those two words kept repeating in my head for 15 minutes. They've been repeating over and over in my head for the past 2 years actually.

After my dad beat me, he left the house to go out and drink again. He came back to our house 15 minutes after. I was half relieved and half scared he was back. Relieved, because I was glad he's still here and okay. I was scared because he hurt me so much. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I know he only changed because of the accident, and took all his hurt out on me and by drowning his sorrows in alcohol. After everything he's done, I still love him. After all, he is still my dad. He was the man who raised me, loved me. I still love him. How could I not? I want the best for him and want him to get better.

CRASH!

A flying beer bottle flew into the wall in front of me, and awakened me from my thoughts. Little pieces of the broken glass beer bottle shatter to the floor, nearly landing on my feet. I'm on the cold gray cement floor in the basement. My eyes fill with water. The salty tears from my eyes stream down my face and onto the concrete floor.

My dad has been drinking ever since my mom died 2 years ago. He's never been sober for more than 2 days after the accident. When my mom died in a car accident 2 years ago, it completely destroyed my dad. I'm an only child. I inherited my dad's nice toned athletic body and really defined cheekbones, I'm  5'5(I'm short for my age-16 years old), but I inherited my mom's long and beautiful chestnut brown hair, big brown eyes, and tan skin. As I was saying, my dad was the most loving and amazing dad anyone could have ever asked for. After the accident, he wasn't the loving, fun, hardworking and caring dad I had when my mom was still with us. My dad became the complete opposite after the accident. He got fired from his job because he stopped showing up to work. He started drinking, and started abusing me. Ever since my dad lost his job, we earned no money. I had to find a job to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. It's definitely not easy. I was a 14 year old teenage girl. Luckily, I found a local gas station near my house that hired me as a cashier. Now I'm 16 and still trying to earn money to keep my dad and I alive. To earn a little extra money, I sold all of my mom's valuable jewellery, except for her gold heart locket necklace. I kept that.

Inside the locket, there was a picture of my beautiful mom on one half of the heart, and the other half of the heart had a bible verse. The bible verse comes from Psalm 37:3-5, 7a.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness, delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the lord, trust also in Him and He will do it. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him."

This locket has been keeping me going these past 2 years. It's the only thing that gives me strength and gets me going.

I pray every single day. I pray that my dad would get better, that he would realize what he's doing and change himself into a better person. I've been praying every single day and night for the past 2 years. I decide that we've both been suffering for long enough. Tonight is when everything's going to change. Tonight is the night where my dad stops hurting. It's also the night where I run away from all the pain he's caused, and we both take a step into our new lives.

*Author's Note* 

So this is my first story! I know it's not the greatest, but I'm trying. I'll hopefully get better along the way. Let me know what you guys think. To be honest, I wrote this pretty quickly last night, so it might be a bit(or more than a bit!)confusing. Constructive criticism is welcome. I'm just winging this, just to let you know. Ahaha :P Thanks for reading! Let me know if you like it or not! I'll make sure to make things less confusing along the way. Anyways, thanks for reading.

~Grace <3>