Coffee Love // markjin

Chapter 7

  /TRIGGER WARNING : SELF HARM & SUICIDE ATTEMPT for this chapter and the rest of the story/  

A few hours after Emily left, Jinyoung's mind was still turning upside down like a tornado. He needed time to digest everything but he didn't have this time. Work couldn't wait.

"- A dark coffee, please."

Jinyoung froze at the voice and raised his head, meeting Mark's brown eyes, the ones he didn't want to meet.

"- Jinyoung ? Why are you crying ? What's happening ?

- I saw Emily earlier. She told me about Jack- Jackson, he said, stuttering on his words as tears were falling on his cheeks.

- Oh, Mark whispered, as his heart missed a beat. That's why you're crying ?

- Mark, you don't understand...

- Explain. Tell me.

- You only like me because you see him in me. You don't like me, you love him."

Jinyoung's red eyes stared into Mark's ones, and only looked away after a few seconds. He took off his apron, smiled at Mark, and walked away. And as he did, Mark's mind went blank, as he realized it was maybe the truth.

Jinyoung went out the shop with tears still rolling on his cheeks, walked for a bit and knocked on a door, a few meters away from the shop.

Jaebum opened the door, and let his best friend enter his house in silence. They both sat on the couch and Jaebum waited patiently for Jinyoung to talk. He knew his friend needed time.

"- He lied to me."

And at those words, Jaebum knew he was right about Mark breaking Jinyoung's heart.

"- He had a best friend named Jackson. Emily told me he died. He committed suicide. He was gay, Jaebum, and everybody bullied him. He killed himself because he couldn't take it anymore, and... Jackson was in love with Mark. Mark realized he had feelings for Jackson after Jackson died, but Jaebum...

- Yes ? Jaebum said, looking as lost as his friend.

- Jackson's personality was just like mine. Mark fell for me just because he thinks I'm Jackson."

A few minutes flied in silence as they both stopped talking. Jinyoung's sobs were the only thing breaking the calm around them, and they stopped when he fell asleep.

Jaebum, lost in his thoughts, jumped when he heard the door bell ringing. Nobody used this ring anymore, or at least not the one who were close to him, as Jaebum disliked this sound more than anything else.

He got up, growling, and opened the door, making him discover a lost and confused Mark.

"- I'm sorry, I followed Jinyoung, I... can I talk to him ?"

Jaebum's cold eyes stared at Mark, and he took a few seconds to answer Mark's question.

"- No.

- Listen, I really have to talk to him, please, I won't be long...

- I said no."

The door slammed in front of him, as Jaebum closed the only door separating him from Jinyoung. He waited a few minutes more in front of the house, expecting Jinyoung to come out and chase after him, but he didn't.

His way home was long, too long, and his mind was still blank. He didn't feel anything, he was empty, but he didn't feel calm. It was as if he was living in another world, as if he didn't belong to this world, as if everything was unfamiliar to him.

He finally got home after what seemed like forever, and dropped his stuff on the floor. Going to the bathroom, he sat on the ground and tried to get his thoughts together, to calm down, as he was finally realizing what happened.

"- Jackson ?"

He knew it was stupid, Jackson couldn't be here, but he needed someone right now, someone who knew him better than anyone else, but this person left a while ago.

"- I'm sorry, Jackson."

He was murmuring these words, as if he was afraid that someone would hear him. He got up and took a bottle of pills, taking a lot of them in his hand.

"- Why did you go ? Why aren't you here with me ? What's wrong with me ?"

He let the water flowing as his voice became shaky and cracked, the same way his heart did.

"- He doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because he knows about you, Jackson. He knows. He knows everything's my fault. If only I did listen to you, my best friend, my other half, my love. I'm... I can't do this anymore. I'm trying to forget you but I can't. You're haunting me. I can feel your presence everywhere I go. I'm scared. I want to move on but your shadow still lingers here. I can't do this anymore. Guilt is breaking me apart, Jack. I can't live if you're not by my side. Maybe... Maybe it's time for me to go and run back into your arms."

A small sigh escaped Mark's lips that were turning into a smile as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. His tears were shining on his cheeks like silver shines in the sunlight. He was so pathetic, yet he looked very peaceful in that moment, he looked calm, and his expression contrasted with the action he was finally ready to execute.

Right after he swallowed the numerous pills he was holding in his hand, Jackson's face appeared on the shiny mirror in front of him. Mark laughed, he laughed hysterically at his own behaviour.

"- You must be happy Jackson, I'm coming back to you again, isn't it what you wanted for me ?"

The aura around Jackson trembled, as his eyes looked like they were trying to beg for Mark to be reasonable. But the young man couldn't listen, his eyes weren't watery anymore and in fact, they shone with a light of madness.

Mark's sadness turned him into a monster, but he couldn't hurt anyone except himself.

"- I'm not, Mark. I wanted you to be happy, to not make the same mistakes as I did. I love you, even in my death, but I love you when you're alive. This is not your time, Mark. It's not. You have Jinyoung. He's with you. And I am too."

Mark's expression was at first really shocked, but his legs dropped him on the ground as the silver streaks on his cheeks were emptying his heart from the pain he was feeling. It was his voice, he could recognize every tone he used ; but it sounded so far away, as if it came from another world Mark didn't have any access to.

He lied down on the ground, the world he was living in turning upside down, and he closed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he felt as if it was his time, finally.

"- Mark !"

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DOUBLE UPDATE FOR TODAY YAAASSSSS

Sorry hahaha it's been a while since I last wrote something and it feels so good to be back !

I hope you liked this chapter ~ I only like the end tbh xD

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT IT'S CRAZY IT'S MORE THAN I RECEIVED FROM TRUST ME AND OMG I DON'T DESERVE IT BUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH *cries*