Miss you the most

Beginning

Raul's pov
Alex was a young girl, then the world broke her down and it gobbled down all of her confidence and just left a 13 year old girl who loved to deeply, who forgave to much, and a 13 year old girl who hated herself. She knew that there were people with more screwed up lives than hers so she didn't bother complaining or telling anyone about it. Alex was insecure and she held up a fake smile for the world to see. She could laugh and smile all day, and talk and be happy. But when she got home everyday after school she would just put in head phones and listen to songs that explained her life. She couldn't or wouldn't try to talk to her other family members, but she never ignored them. She had a nice house, nice clothes, nice everything. But she felt that she would rather have nothing and a family who loves her than a family who picks favorites and who doesn't ever really sit down and have an actual family dinner. Or a family who never decorated or even set up holiday decorations. Alex knew that her mom and her dad would never get back together. She knew that her mom would never try to be a part of her life, she knew that her dad would never be thankful for everything she did for him. She knew that all of her family would be one. She knew that she wouldn't be able to see her dad happily married. She knew she wouldn't be able to see her mom happily married. She knew her family would never be whole. She knew she would always hope for her family to be happy. She knew she would always hope that one day all of the hoping would come to an end, that they would be happy. But deep down in her gut she knew that that would never happen. She knew that her eldest brother would never be able to have a family of his own because he was disabled and because he was blind. She knew her her eldest sister would never know who her father was and she would never be able to see him. She knew that. She knew. But she hoped. She hoped of things bigger too. That the world would come at peace. She hoped that the homeless wouldn't have to starve or freeze from the cold. She hoped that she could make a difference in the world. She hoped that she wouldn't be forgotten, like her mother forgot her. She wanted to be known for something incredible that actually changed the world. She wanted to be known. She wanted to be remembered. She wanted to feel loved again. She wants to remember how it feels to be loved because she hasn't felt that feeling in a while. All she remembers is that is made her smile.  She was hopeful, but at the same time she was hopeless. She was confused, but she understood everything. She understood why her mom left her. She was a mistake. A disgrace. An ugly person,fat person, and a freak. An unloved freak. An unloved disgrace. A heart broken disgrace. Every night these thoughts crossed her mind but she never knew. She never knew how much she meant to me. To me Alex is a beautiful person, on the inside and out. She is a hilarious person. I can't imagine my life without her. She never knew that I was in love with her. She never knew how much joy she brought into my world. She never knew the desire that I had to be able to call her mine. To be able to call her my princess. To be able to call her my baby girl. She never knew. She never knew how I could smile from just looking at her. Or how just seeing her happy made me smile the rest of the day. She never knew about the dreams I had of me and her together. She never knew. I was to scared to tell her because I knew she would never feel the same way about me. She would never fall for a football player who was a jerk on the outside but a gosh darn baby on the inside. She would never fall for me. I'm just me. I could never imagine having her Alex Sontano Forbush all to myself. She is beautiful. She is amazing. She is everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I'm only in sixth grade but I need her. She is my everything. She makes me who I am. She is way out of my league. Now I sit here writing this in my stupid journal that I haven't used yet, well I guess now I have. The only reason I decided to write in this stupid thing is to be able to read it to my kids. Mine and her kids. Our very own beautiful babies. Ours. We brought them into this world. And Alex, I bet...I know that you're as beautiful as ever. You have no idea how happy I am that I am married to you. My beautiful baby girl. You're all mine. Forever and always baby. I don't know how long we've been together, but I just want you to know that you always have and still mean the world to me. I'm not myself when I'm without you. Without you I feel like I'm half of a whole. You are my other half. So kids, or kid I don't know the whole entire point of me reading this to you is to marry the one who makes you feel like your mother makes me feel. Like I was made for her. She was made for me. We were born with two of almost everything. Two eyes, hands, arms, feet, legs, ears, but one heart. Why? Because we have the other one who holds our heart to find.
*****authors note******
Okay so. This was like a super long chapter to me. Anyways comment, vote, follow if I get 2 comments and 2 votes I'll make another one
Love yah...byeeeee