What is love? (O2L Fan Fiction)

Chapter 17: If Only This Was A Dream

I couldn't sleep, everything just came so fast. The whole thing with Finn kissing Paris, Kian accepting my apology, me saying that I hate Paris. Even though I didn't.. Everything in my life right now was just a blur. Why can't we go back to when we were all friends, and we were having the time of our lives in PlayList Live. Kian was the jealous one with Finn but they never hated each other. 

If Kian never did end our relationship as being girlfriend and boyfriend by leaving me for sleep, then maybe this whole thing with Finn wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be crying, I wouldn't be heartbroken, because I would have Kian to wipe my tears away. Paris and I would still be friends, and Finn would secretly like me. 

If I wouldn't have left California, to go back home to London, this whole Finn thing wouldn't have occured. Why didn't I give Kian another chance? Why didn't I take him back? What was going on in my head?

I'm so confused with my life, I just need space from everyone. Maybe I could go to a secret place where nobody could find me. Move to another country, start a new life, go back to Uni. Everything would be so different. I could quit YouTube, stop traveling, and get everyone out of my head. 

But it's not that easy. How can life get any better when even thought Finn kissed my best friend, I'm still in love with him. But why? Why am I still in love with him? Why can't I be in love with Kian Lawley?

I looked over at Kian who was still sleeping, I tapped his shoulder to see if he would wake up. 

''Um, Kian'' I said while tapping his shoulder gently. He looked up at me with a confused look on his face. 

''Yeah Talia?''

''Why did you give me another chance?''

''Because I can't stay mad at you for so long, I still love you''

I got butterflies, and I know he couldn't see it because it was dark in the room, but I started to blush. 

''I think, that I like you too'' I  smiled, and layed back down next to him, I rested my head on his chest, as he kissed my head and said goodnight to me, I found myself smiling. I felt the way I felt with him, when I first met him. When he made Sam spat out his AriZona infront of me. When we first kissed, laid eyes on each other, and even hugged. He even saw me cry, everything was just coming back to me. Like flashbacks. 

~

I woke up before him, in the morning, I decided not to wake him up since yesterday was a long day. I slowly got out of the bed, and opened the door to go into the kitchen. I was shocked when I saw Paris in the kicthen. She smiled at me, and acted like nothing happened last night when something actually did. 

''How'd you sleep?'' She said while cleaning the dishes. 

''Leave me alone Paris, why don't you go and kiss Finn because that's all your good for'' I said while walking away, 

''Talia wait'' Paris said while turning around and looking at me. ''You have every right to be mad at me, I was talking to Finn last night and we both were talking about the whole situation and we are both really sorry. You don't even understand how sorry we both are. I couldn't stop crying yesterday, and I had to tell Connor what happened because I didn't know that he was home, and he heard you say that you hated me, and he asked what was wrong. I broke down infront of him, I had to tell him everything. He looked at me disgusted, and packed his stuff and left. He left me Talia, there's never going to be a Ponnor ever again. Just because I made one stupid mistake. I'm sorry, I really am sorry, and if I could take it back I would, because it wasn't right and I was just jealous of you because every boy likes you. Every boy adores you, and you have Kian trying to win you back, while you're over here kissing Finn. I just needed to do this so that you could see that Kian was actually sorry. He really is, and so are Finn and I. We all just want you back. We never wanted to lose you''