dream

- Home -

I pull my bus pass from my purse and reconnect my earphones, popping them back in my ears and although the bus took over 10 minutes to arrive, I don't feel as panicked in the busy street of Oxford as I did when I got here.

When I hop onto the bus, hiding again at the back, I decide to let my mother know I'm finally on my way home and that I'm okay. Unsurprisingly, she answers on the second ring.

"Ariel?" My mother always asks when she answers the phone to me.
"Hi, I'm just letting you know I'm on the bus home" I tell her.
"Okay dear, your father isn't at all happy with you" she states.

"Could you speak to him? I honestly didn't mean to do that today" I ask.
"He is fine, just a little annoyed, don't worry" she reassures me, "see you soon hunny" she says.
"Yeah" the line goes dead.

As my music returns, I turn the volume up as high as it will go and wait for the time to pass. I have 3 hours to waste.

It has been dark for a while now, stars gradually beginning to pop up in the sky from here to there and it seems to only be me left on the bus by the time it's my turn to get off.

I don't thank the driver when I get off and I keep my head down as I walk home. Glad I brought a jacket, as it's freezing outside, I pull it closer to my body in attempt to gain some warmth.

By the time I get home it's nearly 9:00 and everybody, apart from my mother, seem to have already gone to bed.

"Sorry to keep you up like this" I apologise as soon as she opens the door.
"Don't worry, just brush your teeth and get to bed okay?" she tells me, "I'm heading to bed now, just needed to make sure you got home safe" she explains.
"Okay, thank you, goodnight" I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and she leaves me alone in the dark hallway.

I pull my jacket from my cold silhouette and hang it up on a small hook on the back of my door before pulling my clothes off and replacing them with the same white t-shirt I woke up in.

I then walk to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and taking my mascara off as quickly as I can before walking to bed and throwing myself into it.

I tried for hours to get to sleep that night but couldn't. All my thoughts seemed to want to return to him; to Harry. He was plain, he wore a white t-shirt and black skinny jeans with a sleeve of tattoos going all the way up his right arm so it is ridiculous for me to lose any amount of sleep for him but my brain just didn't seem to want to settle.

Another black and white themed dream is waiting for me when I did finally return to sleep. It was the same as every dream, which was not surprising, they are almost like drawings but not quite.

Every night it's the same dream, every night I can't get my head around what exactly the dream is. It's frustrating.

It's a continuous circle of annoyance each night and I don't know why I'm like this. I've tried to find the meaning of it but there isn't one. It's driving me insane.

I wake up the same as I did the day before, like I do everyday, nothing's changed, nothing ever changes. I don't study my room, as I did yesterday, but I throw myself out of bed and hover to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

My mother walks in, wishing me a good morning in her same chirpy voice before I walk into the living room. I count to three, holding my cup away from my face, and my brother bounds in.

I watch as my mother runs in, "do you want to wake your father up?" She screams.

Before she can even send him to sit next to me, I stand up and walk to my room. I put the cup on the bedside, holding now six coffee stains, and make my bed.

I put my clothes in the dirty wash basket from the eventful day before and sit on my bed.  I have nothing to do.

I go to my phone, which was still in the pocket of my jacket, and click it on before returning to my bed.

*Harry Styles sent you a friend request* I read.

I swipe my phone to unlock it and it takes me to my Facebook page, showing me that my eyes aren't deceiving me and that he did actually send me a friend request. Why would he?

I go onto his profile, making sure I'm not having some sort of weird nightmare, not that I would, only to find out that this was him.

His Facebook is filled with photos, most not even of himself, but of moments he has captured. Every single one of them in black and white.

I begin to panic, my Facebook looks horrendous. It's covered in photos of me back when I didn't know what a phone was or how to take a photo properly. Oh God.

Before I accept his request I delete every photo I have, replacing them with nicer, more recent ones. I try to make it look as appealing as humanly possible for me and then press accept.

I don't know why but I sit and wait, staring at my phone for what seems to be hours for any sign of a message from him. It's not a surprise to me when it doesn't come.

Around 3:00 I decide to finally go and make some late lunch, leaving my phone in my room.

I decide to have tea and toast, as I'm not the world's best cook, and eat it all in the glass conservatory next to the kitchen.

The toast is mostly cold by the time I'd finished the tea so it took me a while to eat. It wasn't enjoyable like I was hoping, but then again nothing is particularly enjoyable to me.

I go back to my room after putting the cup and plate in the sink and grab Of Mice and Men from my desk draw. My class has an English exam tomorrow on the book and I haven't even started reading it.

Just about finishing my second sentence I hear a notification on my phone. Ignoring it, as it's probably only my network number telling me I am running out of data, I carry on reading, only to hear another notification sound from the device.

Harry.

Dropping the book onto my desk, I walk as slowly as I can over to my phone before picking it up and clicking it on.

I read:
Harry Styles-
Catch anymore busses?

Harry Styles-
Right, I should've introduced myself. I'm the rude, eavesdropping book-store guy.

Harry Styles-
If you died on the way home then why does your Facebook say you uploaded a photo only 2 hours ago?

My fingers dance across the screen in reply.