I push,
my forehead
hard,
against the harsh
cold
glass.
Music drums through my earbuds
and into my body
keeping me warm.
Keeping me distracted.
Keeping me safe.
Keeping me hidden.
Austin shouts.
Dad argues.
Dad shouts.
Austin Argues.
Austin shouts.
I argue.
Dad argues.
Austin argues.
I suffocate.
They yell.
I disappear.
It goes unnoticed.
Like my pain.
Like my thoughts.
Like my mind.
Like my heart.
(~)
I lie
on my back
letting the fan,
cool me,
conceal me,
forgive me,
and
forget me.
Sia Radio
on Pandora
drums in my head
suffocates my
suicidal thoughts
helps
to make them
shut the hell up.
Breathing.
In
Out
In
Out
In
Out.
Rhythmic.
Focus,
no focus.
Hold tight.
Let go.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Just breathe.
Just exist.
Just want.
Just awake.
Just think.
Just dream.
Just observe.
Just live.
I picture
a blank room
that fills itself,
with enchanting beauties.
Books,
art of all kinds,
great music,
and
relaxation.
Beautiful.
So. Damn. Beautiful.
I want it.
I want it so bad and I can't have it
so I must live without it.
Listen, focus, on the bass.
Listen, focus, on every note.
Listen, focus, on every lyric.
Live.
Breathe.
Suffocate.
Repeat.
YOU ARE READING
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PoetryOn the way home. Dad's arguing. Austin's shouting. I want to disappear. Dad's shouting. I'm arguing. Austins arguing. Austin's shouting. I'm suffocating. They're arguing. I'm hiding now. Or distracted, for lack of better words. I'm trying but I can'...