Life changing
Sunday morning I sat on a corner in my room, thinking how my life, will change on my own way. I open my computer and scroll on my page in a social network. I got one message. From a person that I do not even know. His name is Alex an American engineer who seeks for a friend. “Hello Friend, I like your profile and it has attracted me to you and I will really love to know you better. I am really new here and really don’t know how this work, but your beauty has captivated me, and I will love to hear from you.” As a casual person I replied and share some thoughts... “Hi there.... thank you for dropping a note...” The next day Monday got busy and makes deal with myself. An ordinary day, I also check some message on my profile page and again a weird message I got from the same guy last day. I don’t know if it is a real or just making fun with a girl like me. “I’m very glad to read from you, it will be my pleasure to meet you in person soon, I believe in every relationship there must be a starting point, which make us to know each other.... and it's really my desire to know you very well and we become best friends. My name is cluade Alex 45yrs old. I'm from a family of two, I'm contraction Engineer and I work with Marine Company here in London, I will tell you more about me and my family as time comes.” As a usual friendly conversation on net we did a chat, telling something about myself and him. Time goes by and the conversation continues, sharing some ideas in life and some things that we accomplished. I know this guy is an interesting man; he is open to any stories under the sun. I admit that I dream to meet a man who is willing to accept me from who I am. Willing to stand beside me and grow old with me. This guy captured my heart. I know I’ve been single for three years and now I realize that I am aging. I start to realize how magical the world is. And how god looks on my life. God give me a friend who inspires me more to open myself to others. I tell him a story about me, “I am a teacher, a 27 in age here in earth. Willing to be friend, as long as I can reach lives.” Our conversation went well and I never notice that the time is getting late. We talk until five in a morning and shared some ideas of what life is. I ask him “do you travel because of your job?” And he answered, “Yeah I have been Japan, Malaysia and Thailand I love traveling because I'd like to get to know something new every minute, every second. I'm always ready for new emotions and feelings. I like adventures and I think our life would be boring without them. Also I love music, reading, relaxing, and movies. I love to spend my free time with my friends. I feel my life is very interesting. I try to make it interesting. I think that it depends on us....” And as I thought he is an interesting man, same as my father. I ask him again “how you appreciate people” and he answered “I’m really into trying to appreciate what it is that I have in life. I am the happiest man when I know that what I do is the right thing for me, from my heart. I enjoy being mentally and physically active, I love doing almost anything outside. I like to be in the fresh air. I love to laugh and see humor all around me. I am a happy and fun loving person but I would like to find that special person to be able to share and to have fun with. I'm warm, sensitive person who is always open to new ideas. I'm romantic and love sunsets and candle during dinners, but you can't fully appreciate them unless you have the right person to share them with. I'm looking for a tender and emotional woman. She should care about me and feelings. I'm ready to share my life with such woman... I'm ready to be a serious husband and love my wife. Our life is a zebra; it has dark moments and light moments. When you are on a dark side you are unhappy and give up and when you are on the light side of your life you want to live and never die, because life is so good for you.” I am starting to learn from this man, I accept him as my friend. I said good night and good bye because it getting late. I have to rest and recharge my energy.
Next day Tuesday, he give me a message that I feel totally shocked and I can’t believe on it “I want to find a woman like you who will be near me during all times, when I am on the dark side or light side, it doesn't matter, and she will be always besides me, the same with me. I will be always with her, we will support each other and never let each other be sad or unhappy. Please, take good care of yourself and your job, eat very well, don't stress yourself too much, always find time to rest and be happy all the time.pls accept me so we can know each other better.” This man is so sweet an ideal man for a lady who wants to be in love and be loved. As we speak that day I feel different and feel strange, I think this is not good and I guess there is something wrong about this friendship, am I falling in love with a guy who I never knew if he is real or not, or I’m just going with the flow of what’s going on. This man is so sweet and has a lot of flower full words to make me happy. I just give him a message that fit and answer his message. “I accept you as who you are and I am here to be your friend in ups and downs of your day by day pass.” Another strange message that I can’t resist. I think I am falling now from his sweetness and kindness, this man is my ideal man. A man that I can tell to my fellow, no matter who I am he’s with me. The problem is his change. He seems look my father. His age is half of my age. And my father is just seven year older than him. Now I am confused on what I feel about him, is this admiration or just go with a flow. He said: “I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.” And again “I love you so much and you just don't know it. Sometimes I get scared to show it. It feels like when you come around me my mouth becomes grid-locked and all the words I want to say just stop. My lips clutter because my love is so strong, and the words that I want to say just won't be said. Sometimes I want to open up to you and tell you how I feel - I guess I am too scared to open up and be real. I know you love me and you have hidden feelings inside too. It seems like it is easier for you to express yourself to me than it is from me to you. JANE, I love you, and know that I will always have hidden feelings for you.” Now I feel heaven and flattered on his words, I hope this is real.
Next day Wednesday he messages me, “Day by day, my love for you becomes overwhelming, and I can't handle it when I don't see or even talk to you every day.” This man is so sweet, I’m stating love him. But he said something, “Jane, I have a son he is Henry. He is five year old now, and never seen a mother ever since he was born. My wife died of giving birth to him.” Another shocking revelation from him, and I accept him and his son, he called me that day, but I never hear his voice I only talked to Henry his son, I feel pity to this child he never feel the hug, kiss and touch of a mother. I feel something while talking to him, I don’t know if it is a pity on him or just touched me when he said “I like you to be my mom, can I call you mother.” This child is over whelming; now I salute Alex on his life, he stands a father and at the same time a mother to Henry, I know the feeling of being alone in a dark with a child to watch over. Now I realize that I am lucky that I have a mother to watch me over while my father is not with me while I am growing up. I know that Henry is just a boy but I know the feeling of searching for something in his life. I am asking myself now, am I ready for the next challenge on my life, but one thing still I can’t figure out is this for real, what I’m facing now is this really happening to me… or just a nightmare that I can wake up. I don’t have any clues on god’s challenge.
(Next chapter to follow)
