.
,
Will knew how to open my eyes, as what he did 2 minutes ago. But he knew also to fix me. He could read right through me. And that's what scares me so much.
He was a friend. He was my love. He was.
But now he hates me and can and will do anything to make me endure his pain.
Or he is leading me into this thought into insecurity. Making me overworry and overthink everything he won't do to me.
Or I'm just overthinking it and he just wants to talk to me again. Normally.
I'm so wrong. He hates me. He hates me. He most definitely hates me. He can't love me after all I did, how could I think he'd want no harm for me?
.
,
I arrive in the apartment, seeing the sight of Dean asleep on the couch. I walk up to him silently and then quickly wake him up by pulling his elf-like ears gently.
He smiled and pushed himself upward to kiss my nose. I smiled and then climbed onto the couch space next to him.
He turned on the TV and started watching some dystopian universe show I fail to understand, as I watch horrified as a gory war took place.
He covered my eyes for me but I dismissed his little safety everytime.
I went onto my phone and ordered some pizza to go for dinner because I knew neither Dean or I didn't want to cook food.
After ordering, a few moments later I got another text from Will.
will: you know that i wont hurt you right, no matter how much i hate you?
I replied quickly: well it did kinda hurt thanks for your words though
will: it's not supposed to hurt if it's the truth. i just revealed the truth to you.
I rolled my eyes and thought about his version of my truth.
Maybe he didn't hate me, after all he didn't want to hurt me.
.
,
After a while, the pizza guy came with the small box of half Hawaiian pizza and half pepperoni.
I smiled at him giving him a tip and the money as he left quickly.
"Ooh, pizza," Dean said, getting up from the couch.
I opened the box on the table, the smell accosting my nose.
He took two plates from the cupboard then made some ice tea using Lipton.
He and I took a seat at the table and took one warm slice each.
"Who did you meet up with?" Dean asked nosily.
"It was more of a reunion. And it's in a private matter that I really don't want to talk about." I stated immediately. I didn't want to talk about it at all.
He nods and takes a bite of his pepperoni slice as I scavenge the last of my pizza I ate.
"Wow you're hungry today..." He chuckled and I elbowed him, as I put the plate on the sink.
"Oh and who did you meet up with a few hours ago?" Dean asked, again.
"Do I have to tell you?" I complained.
"Why, yes, we can't have secrets!" He said entirely truthful and enforced. I felt attacked, slightly.
"Dean, this is just one thing. Please don't." I said, agitated now.
"These secrets will pile up and then we will be living on a heap lf lies, I know I don't want that. Please, tell me Dani!" He pleaded, annoyed as well.
"Damn, just because I hung out with him you flip, gosh." I sounded like a rebellious teenager, but I was just annoyed.
"Him? It's a guy. This changes the whole game for all I know!" He said, outraged.
"Listen, queen of sarcasm," I spat, " just because he's the same gender as you doesn't mean it turns the whole damn tables. Now your majesty, would you like me to help you get over yourself?" I asked, then curtsy, walking away.
.
,
Dean: sorry about a while before, Panera 7 30?
I smiled at his gesture, and got another text.
will: can we talk? i feel like i said some harsh words that i need to clear up, my place (Kilney Residence Apartment 302) at 7 45?
Shit, I thought to myself, I checked the time, it was 6:47 and I texted Dean, then Will.
Me: dinner sounds lovely cya there
Me: im really sorry will, maybe tommorow, 3 30? no hard feelings i have to go to a dinner :)
I left the apartment and headed to Panera.
.
,
The welcoming feel of Panera, felt like you were near a loved one, warm and fuzzy feeling.
I got a text immediately after the arrival, collapsing my train of thought.
will: no hard feelings i was last minute anyways
I found Dean walking to me. We were in the line. I decided on a bread bowl with soup in the bread and an apple. Dean decided on some famcy noodle thing that I tried before, to me, that dish was spicy.
"Sorry, I overreacted." I said, shyly.
"I kind of did too, it's all good." He reassured.
After that, an awkward silence took place and I felt empty. This never really happened, we always had things to talk about. From reciting the alphabet backwards to parallel universes where we were born in the same country, in the same neightborhood, or didn't meet at all.
But now it does seem like a parallel universe, because Dean and I couldn't talk this time. We were in the universe where we didn't know each other at all.
Our vibrator buzzed and we went to get our food.
"That thing always tasted spicy to me." I stated and he pointed st his dish.
"What? This? Nah, it's just really good." Dean said, scooping the noodles with his fork.
I scooped up my soup and tried not to soak the bread too much with the spilling soup coming out of the spoon.
I couldn't damn talk, it felt like a helpless situation, like being choked by a shadow, it would hurt you but you couldn't fight back, fighting back would just go right through.
"Am I the only one feeling this silence?" I said, subconsciously pointing my spoon at the soup, like some model pose.
"Feeling it too." Dean said blankly. He paused, "and I'm suddenly not hungry anymore." Dean pushed his tray ahead of him slightly and I pushed it back.
"It'd be a waste of food and money."
He looked up at me and forcefully shoved noodles into his mouth.
I smiled, all lip, but like a thin line, it was an awkward smile. I finished the soup, and took a bite of the apple.
We left silently and went to seperate cars, but before we went on to the same destination, Dean asked a question.
"Want to go hang out again at 3:30?" And I suddenly felt a pang in the gut.
"I made plans, Dean."
"What are you doing?"
"Meeting with a high school friend who just moved here."
He eyebrowed me, "I thought you never wanted to see your high school friends."
"Well this one, frankly I do. She's sweet and caring, her name is Johanna." I said, and walked off to my car.
And Dean was right. I could already sense the pile of lies we'd be sitting upon on our corrupted thrones.
//
I swear this story will get good just wait five chapters ahhhh
