Chim - Cry

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Cheryl's POV

"Phone her? Is she serious? Me? talk to her?" I shout to Nicola as I pace the room.

"Well.." Nicola trails off.

"Well what?" I shout, stopping abruptly, making Nicola look up.

"It would save arguments if you just spoke to her." Nicola said, shrugging her shoulders as she drank her coffee.

"I thought out of everyone, the one person I could trust was you!" I said quietly to Nicola as tears formed in my eyes. A feeling I'd become used to over recent weeks.

I make my way through to my bedroom, un-shed tears glistening in my eyes. I sigh at the sight that greets me. A small, cramped room. The only colour coming from the green pillow that lies alone on the white bed.

My eye casts over to a lone mirror hanging on the bare wall. I look at the reflection and finally let my tears fall.

Sad.

Lonely.

Confused.

Worried.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, a saying I've never really understood until now. My feelings are being broadcast to the world. Or for anybody who cares enough to notice.

My eyes glance across to the small bedside table. I look at the picture that catches my eye, it's on of me and Kimberley. My eyes look different this time.

Hope.

Happiness.

Love.

I take one last look at the picture before letting my legs collapse underneath me and fall onto the bed. I let the tears course down my cheeks, not bothering to wipe them away because they will only be replaced by ones falling harder.

I hear soft footsteps coming from outside my room followed by a soft knock on the door.

"Go away!" I shout, my voice being muffled my the pillow I am hugging, the only source of comfort I could find.

"No" Nicola says softly as she comes over and sits beside me on the bed.

"I don't want to speak to you!" I protest as she strokes my back.

"But I need to speak to you!" Nicola says softly again as she picks me up gently and engulfs me in a loving hug.

"What?" I say as Nicola wipes my tear stained face.

"How could you even think that? Of course I'm on your side, silly!" Nicola laughs.

".." I simply shrug my shoulders and let a small smile creep onto my face.

"I love you! Do you know that?"

"Yes" I giggle.

"Friends again?" Nicola asked, tickling my side a little.

"Yes" I laugh, squirming as Nicola carried on tickling me.

"I've got to go now." Nicola says as she gets up to leave the room.

"Bye, love you!" I shout just before she closes the door.

"Team Cheryl!" She winks, blowing me a kiss as she leaves.

After Nicola leaves I smile to myself. Nicola cared enough to noticed the tears in my eyes, the pain in my smile and the crack in my heart. That's why I love her.

I was just about the lie down when my phone started to ring from the other side of my room. I slowly walk over and my smile fades when the familiar name pops up on the screen.

"What Kimberley?" I sigh into the phone.

"Can we talk?" Immediately her voice melts me.

"Go on then!" I shout, trying my best to sound annoyed.

"I'm sorry." She says simply.

"Is that it? Break my heart and that's all you have to say?" I shout into the phone.

"Sorry." She says again quietly.

"Stop apologising, Kimberley!"

"Please, meet up with me and let me explain?" She begs.

"No, Kimberley. You had my heart and you abused it. Like I said, you taught me how to love and I'll never stop loving you Kimberley, but do you want to know the thing that breaks my heart even more? I'm afraid you didn't even start loving me!" I tell Kimberley softly, trying my hardest to hold the tears.

"Please, Cheryl. I didn't mean to, I am so, so sorry."

"You told me you loved you. I meant it, you never." I tell her.

"I'm sorry, Cheryl." Kimberley cries into the phone. The sound of her sobs makes my heart shatter.

"You know what else makes me physically sick?"

"What?" I hear Kimberley sniff at the other end of the line.

"I promised little Skye that I'd be there with you forever, and I didn't even keep that promise. What did I do Kimberley?"

"You did nothing, Cheryl. I did it all. I don't even deserve to be having a conversation with you right now, you don't even know how much it means for you to be even talking to me right now."

"I'm sorry, Kimberley, but I can't go back. I love you and I always will, but I can't be with somebody who won't love me back. You'll always be the one I love Kim, but I just can't be with you."

I put the phone down. Have I made a mistake? Or have I finally done something that I won't regret?

I love Kimberley so much it hurts. I cry myself to sleep, I cry because instead of hugging a pillow, I could be hugging her warm body. But that's gone now.

It worries me. Kimberley's ill and she's only got Nadine. I want to be with her so much, but I really don't think I could be in the room with her knowing that she has the ability to kill me mentally.

She made me love, and I'll never stop. But she also made me cry. Will that ever stop?

Do you know what it's like to have so much pain in your life you'd rather kill yourself than live with it for much longer? I do.