Strangers to lovers

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by cockynarry

by cockynarry

0 | Strangers to lovers

In the middle of our walk of life,
I found myself within a dark forest, for the
straightforward pathway had been lost.

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Darkness is a form of loneliness.
Loneliness is a form of darkness.

It's not much but it sort of explains what it would be like not being able to see what lies ahead or around you; being disconnected and feeling inclosed in a space.

It's all the pieces of life you cannot connect, the placid world and the happiness you can't feel, or well... the happiness you can't have.

I'm trapped in my own darkness and feeling lonely over a simple girl, because I knew; never in a million years she would feel the same way I feel about her.

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I'm in a dark room. No light seeps in at a window or under a door. I vaguely recall that I left this room, a couple hours ago. Feeling happy, actually having a purpose in the world. Fleeting glimpses of light. But that's all lost now.

The darkness is heavy, it sits on me, weighing me down. The walls feel thick and close. It's hard to breathe. There's no escape. I crumble under the weight of it, laid on my bed, curled up. I can't move.

Depression. It's taking ahold of me. Again. As I think of this I access my intellectual mind and I know that it hasn't always been this way. I know that my mind was once like a big house, full of light and many different rooms. I walked in and out of those rooms happily and at my will. There was a room of sadness, it was dimmer than the rest, but I could leave. I could return to rooms full of joy, contentment, and satisfaction. I could even go to rooms of anger or hurt and leave them again.

But that house is gone now. This dark room is all I know. Flashes of anger find their way in, only to be pushed away again by the heavy darkness. I can't go on. If this dark room is all I have, what's the point? It's a prison, a cage, solitary confinement. I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't.

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The reason for that is because I made a stupid choice of telling her I loved her. I should've seen the signs! She doesn't like me the way I like her, hell I don't like her. I'm head over heals in love with her. And it's all my heads fault for telling me to listen to my heart, and tell her three simple words.

Three words the could've either made me the most happiest man on earth if she told them right back at me, or a man with nothing, And that's what happened. Telling her ❝I love you❞ was the biggest mistake I've ever made because after those three words she just stared right back at me in silence. Nothing came out of her mouth, her surroundings were all shocked; except what I felt was a stab to the heart.

Now I'm just a man with nothing but a shattered heart and a broken friendship. Besides, the point of all this is because Spencer Andrews; my ex-bestfriend, now, doesn't feel the same way about me.

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