My Story...

Internet

I've used the Internet and social networks (Mostly Pheed) to talk about stuff I'm depressed or angry about. It's where I tend to get my feelings out.

I've met 2 friends on Pheed. Ashly and Skyonna. They mean the world to me. They're honestly my best friends...

I've also met an amazing guy named Aj. We met on something called MeetMe :) .

Aj is also my best friend. I tell him everything. How I feel, what I'm doing, what I want to do, etc.

I trust him so much. He understands me so much.

Aj and I made a deal that if he ate more, than I wouldn't cut.

That deal just gets harder and harder to keep each and every day.. I'm honestly not sure if I can keep it much longer..

I'm sorry Aj.):

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Now I know what you're all thinking.. "Why is she wanting to cut? She has no reason to. Her life isn't THAT bad..."

You've only heard 3/4 of my life...

I'm always depressed because my family and "friends"...

My family CONSTANTLY tell me I need to work out.

Ever since I quit softball, my family won't shut up about it.

I quit softball because I wanted to learn piano and guitar. Music speaks to me.

Plus I'm not really a sports person...

I'm a fucking disappointment and failure to my father.

He compares me to Kaysee ALL THE TIME.

"How come you don't have straight A's like Kaysee?" "Why aren't you as skinny as Kaysee?" "Why aren't you as athletic as Kaysee?"

Then there my "friends". I'm told I'm fat and ugly by some people, so that doesn't help much with me being insecure as it is..

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

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People tell me to ignore them... It's honestly impossible for me to if I'm told this shit 24/7. You don't understand.... I CAN'T ignore them...