Multiple people tried to make me promise them that I would put the blade away
and I won't know what to say
to my family, I would say yes, to make them not worry
to my friends, I would change the subject in a hurry
Why do they care all of a sudden
they don't even know what has happened
I'm no longer that girl they once knew
I someone completely brand new.
I'm a monster.
A monster that seeks torture.
I make everyone around me cry
cry so loud that makes me want to suffer and die
that makes me recoil into the corner
to cry a river
and drown under water.
Honestly, I would quit if I could
it makes me feel better, unlike the memories from my childhood
I feel happier when I watch my blood fall
it makes me forget it all.
In the end, I'm going to suffer because I deserve every line
for every time I've lied saying I was fine
for every time I didn't obey
it's all my fault, okay?
I should have listened to what she said
no wonder it constantly repeats in my head
no wonder I cry myself to sleep at night
I should have done what was right
it's my fault, I look this way
it's my fault that I'm not okay.
