Where I Belong (Eremika Fanfic)

Chapter 2

Mikasa

After one hour forcing myself to sleep I reached the conclusion that it was impossible. Everything felt all wet, covered by sweat. Taking a shower would be the most sensible thing to do so I pulled the couch to one side and placed my bare feet on the floor. The stone felt cold beneath my sweaty body and a shiver ran through my spine. I passed my hand through my hair and slowly stood up, trying not to awaken Sasha for the second time tonight. I grabbed a clean set of clothes, tip-toed into the bathroom and silently shut the door behind me.
As I leaned against the closed door I sighed and switched on the lights.
When I opened it, the tap started releasing the hot water making it splash at the bottom of the shower. When I took my clothes off the mirror was covered in mist and I could see my blurry body reflected like a pink spot.
I stepped into the shower where the warmth of the water mixed with the vapour relaxed all my muscles as I let it fall down my shoulders and legs while trying not to get it on my hair. I took a deep breath; it was like a waterfall falling down my back.

Suddenly I remembered the meeting that had been organised tomorrow with all the military commanders, from all three sections. They would discuss the procedure we were to take in relation to all the human titans stuff. Some of the people that were directly involved, such as Eren, Armin and me, were also allowed to go.
"Eren..." I whispered softly to the wet ceramics on the wall. They'd have to go over my body to hurt him.

I remembered the feelings running through my veins when I held him in my arms after the fight with Annie. Just like that my arms were wrapped around my wet shoulders as if longing to live the moment again. Terror, anxiety, but above all, relief. I was relieved that his stubborn little heart kept beating, slow but constant, close to mine as I was holding him.
Everything had happened because of that piece of scum. I can perfectly remember how I flied beside the wall and cut her fingers right off so she wouldn't escape and Eren's effort hadn't been all for nothing. When I looked into her eyes, right before she hit the ground, I could definately see fear, but I'd swear there was something else, whether it was disappointment or remourse, I couldn't tell.
But then, even after beating her, Annie had to keep on fighting for a lost cause, for the Titans.
What if we are the lost cause? I thought. Nothing was clear these days.
No. We can't be, I thought. Yes, Eren was a Titan and he could lose it sometimes, but above anything, he was the personification of human will and hope in many ways, of humanity. Our race deserved to live, didn't it? I mean, we did have a dark side. But didn't the bright one also count?
I remembered when I was sitting next to my brother's bed and placed my hand over his'. It felt warm and close. I doubt any other creature apart from humans could appreciate that and feel like they belong, right next to that person.
I had told Eren I was glad he was back, and I really was. I loved him. I was his sister and I didn't want him to get hurt. But if he turned so often it would end up damaging him. I had already seen him bleed through his nose and lose conscience after a transformation.
He could end up dying. And then I wouldn't only have betrayed myself, but also Carla, to whom I had made a solemn promise.
I closed my eyes trying to expell those thoughts out of my mind and water drops ran down my eyelashes.
Maybe that was what my dreams were all about. And the only way to stop them was ensureing Eren's safety.
However, in this world which was full of beautiful things and places and at the same time so full of cruelty and suffering, one could never be safe. All I knew was that if you had the people that loved you around, your possibilities of survival increased. That was what my brother had taught me since the very first time we met and that was what we both had been doing, not only for each other but also for our friends.

As soon as I got out of the shower, all the thoughts vanished away. After drying myself and dressing up with a clean night gawn I got out of the bathroom. I changed the sheets and couch for clean ones and got into bed again.
As my eyes closed, driven by tiredness, the last thing I saw was the sky starting to be illuminated by the arrival of the dawn. It must be around six a.m., I thought. Then I lost myself to sleep.

Eren

As soon as the first bird started singing outside, I decided I had had enough sleep for tonight.
The truth was I hadn't slept much thinking about today's meeting. I couldn't wait to know what our next movement would be. Besides, my room was next to Mikasa's and tonight I had heard her scream my name once more. I never thought it would go on in such a way and didn't want to give it that much importance - it wasn't as if Mikasa had given me any choice, really -. She refused to talk about it and as the weeks went by it had become sort of a taboo: we never discussed it, but we both knew it was a reality. After some time I had given up on asking the girls either. Not even Sasha really knew what was going on in my sister's head, but that wasn't so rare as she barely spoke about anything other than what was necessary. But from what I could tell about her, I knew she tended to keep what was important to her to herself, because, according to her, she could "handle it by herself". That was why I was so worried.

I jumped off the upper bunk bed and soon regretted it as my legs started hurting from the impact. After all, I was still a bit weak from the fight with Annie.
I went to the wooden closet from where I got the first shirt I saw. The morning was cold and made my bare chest get goosebumps. Quickly, I pulled the shirt over my head and then put my trousers on.
A growl came from Armin's bed.
"Morning," I said.
"Is it eight already?" He asked, unconvinced.
"I'd say it's seven but whatever. If I had stayed in bed for one more second I would have killed someone."
"You would have had to find someone else 'cus I'm not in the mood right now," he said sarcastically while yawning and then submerged himself deeper into his couch. After a second he added "Did you hear her tonight?"
I froze in place and then decided to sit down on a chair.
"Yes," I sighed.
"You should talk with her."
"I do. Every day," I answered with sarcasm, folding arms like when I was little and my mother told me off.
"You know what I mean, Eren. So don't give me that crap," his voice sounded quiet but steady.
"I've tried. You know I have. It's my sister that keeps everything to herself and I'm tired of putting pressure on her," I argued.
For a second all that could be heard were the voices of two more birds which had joined the choir. How could Armin be for a serious talk this early in the morning?
"Maybe she is tired of being that quiet. Maybe all she needs is a little push," he said, finally.
He made a point. But what if he was wrong? In fact, what if he was right? I had never seen Mikasa being affected by personal issues before, at least not for a long time, and I didn't know if I'd be good enough to cheer her up again.
"Then I won't be the one to push her, 'cus whoever does, will hurt her," I determined.
"Yeah, but if it's the right person, he'll also be there to pick her up and make her realise the rise was worth the fall," he made a pause and came out from beneath the couch. "I don't think I have to specify about who I mean with "he", do I?" He looked into my eyes.
The hell he didn't.
"When did you become so philosofical, Armin?" I complained, while getting up and heading to the door. When my hand touched the handle, he concluded:
"When did you become such a coward, Eren?"
My feet stuck to the ground. Me, a coward?
"You can bring down all the titans you like. But when it comes to feelings..." He corrected himself. "...When it comes to Mikasa, it's like you don't have the guts to confront her."
Because that might mean I'll lose her, I wanted to tell him. Instead, I answered:
"Does anyone?" And after opening the door I slipped out.
I hated it when Armin played with my feelings that way and made me feel guilty. I didn't know how he did, but it worked.
For the first time in weeks I was even considering the idea of having a serious talk with my sister.

Thanks for reading! :3 I hope you enjoyed this second chapter, I'll try not to delay the third one. If you liked it please vote and comment and if you have any suggestions please tell me :) See you in the third chapter! <3

PS: Don't worry, Eremika will show up, eventually. I promise ;D

Charlotte58