The Beginning

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My life was absolutely perfect in every single way. I had a great family, fun friends, a great academic record and I was pretty and popular. The cherry on top of my perfect life was Ben, my boyfriend. He was smart and sweet and thoughtful and generous and kind and handsome. All in all the perfect man. I wasn't the smartest back then and somehow I was so delusional that I thought everything would stay the same. Yeah well suffice to say I was extremely, horrifically wrong.

Everything went downhill from the 23 of July. My family were going on holidays to California. We lived in Boston so it was far away, but my parents decided to drive instead of, I don't know, going on a plane. That was obviously a huge mistake. My dad was driving safely and suddenly before I could even begin to comprehend what was happening, I was in agony, my skin sizzling and bubbling, a disgusting burnt mess of a body. I had also been flung out of the car and I was lying on the cold, rough road. I still have nightmares about that moment. I would have died if someone had come along and called an ambulance. I can always hear the sirens and the screams. I can always smell the burnt flesh, the blood, the smoke. I can always feel the blood oozing out of every bit of me, the pounding of my head and the large welt of emotional pain in my chest. These memories never ever fade. Time does not feel. If anything, the more time that passes the worse you feel. Survivors guilt or whatever. A paramedic lifted me on a plastic stretcher and carries me on to a helicopter to be rushed to the nearest hospital. I wanted to ask what was happening but before I could, I blacked out.

I woke up five days later in an ICU. I didn't know who I was let alone where I was. Thinking back to that time gives me the creeps. Do you have any idea what it is like to be surrounded by family and let alone, with strangers crowding in on top of you? Let me assure you, my friend, it is something that you do not ever want to experience. I get a large bolder of panic in my stomach just thinking about it, but I have to tell you everything. If I don't, then I will seem like a bitch. Because I have not been a nice person. Just ask Ashley, Ethan and Clara.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 29, 2015 ⏰

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