Futile excuses just for my soothing
When it's dark she'll lose him
Like pixels dissipating from televisions
I think I was doing the right thing
Better than to suffer the silence –
But now I've lost my silence
I have no voice yet –
I knew I was doing the right thing –
So why is it, I feel the opposite?
On a trajectory now to nowhere
Suspicious eyes every-vicious-where
Accusing stares – pelting shame
You've brought to the name
You don't deserve the name
You don't deserve the name –
Now I truly am of nowhere
My kingdom so austere –
Burnt bridges – pathetic waste
No pathway to retrace
A smog overtakes the glass
Pressure shoots silicone shards
And I can no longer see
Or feel that which was once me
I cannot believe it's you –
he asked, why?
I have no answer – a dejected sigh –
He asked, do you feel free?
I was never imprisoned to begin with
Don't you see?
This is not what I wanted – borrowed liberty
It's foreign to me –
A hopeless posterity – abandoned piety
Directionless - swinging like a pendulum
Distinct reality – there is no home
Numbing simplicity to this game
But I don't deserve the name
Anyway –
Confinement was my castle – my fort
I was happy – but they weren't
So I moulded – contentment forsaken
Their satisfaction a preference
But they're still the same
So please tell me this,
What have I gained?
Except a searing sense of shame?
Doubt, never-ending mind games –
Except a sudden loss of me?
So they think I'm free –
Except a sense of fake liberty?
To have them raise a glass and cheer for me...
The science of this silence is lost on me -
I haven't gained the world
I haven't gained liberty
I've lost –
I wasn't even in the game to begin with
~
Poetic Musing: The song is hugely important to cement the meaning behind this poem. It's fast paced, and in a way encapsulates the way in which we rapidly try to adapt to an increasingly changing world. Only to realise too late that what we are conforming to is a farce - it's unreal. Illusions of the mind. And Liberty - don't even get me started on that one.
