Since Last Year

Since Last Year (WCONTEST2015)

His lips touch mine, lightly, as if he's just testing the waters. It's all breathtaking, from the sparkling, packed snow to the crisp, dry air engulfing us, as if it's not just packing the snow together- it's packing us, too. We both can't help but smile, determined for nothing to get in the way for the future.

Winter's the perfect season; everything crystalizes, memories are made. Our loved ones, our friends- we all exchange joyous harmonical laughs which seem to say, 'It'll last forever, nothing's ever going to change.'

And we believe it. Every part of it, from imprinting our marks of existance through beautiful snow angels, all the way to first kisses, gently and lovingly, imprinting our marks on our loved one.

But leaving our marks for our pleasure means destroying the layer of pure, white snow which we don't ever seem to appreciate enough. Every soft crunch of our boots, every breath we take, every sound we make- it destroys what means most to us.

The snow angels claim to be a symbol of beautiful moments in our lives. Ones where you forget about everything, you don't remember anything, it all seems to fade away.

And then, you open your eyes. The harsh snow slaps you in the face, and you remember where you are. It's not any longer the perfect scene we all hope for. It's the miracle God gave us that we stomp on with our sinful boots, not giving a care for the blessing the white landscape has been. And will be. It'll always be there, always by your side.

But you'll cover it up. Destroy any evidence of the perfect serenity, and hide it. With what? Everything you have to offer; joy, pain, humiliation, all of it but one.

I used to think it was love, but then I remember the sin that comes with it. The heartbreak, the jealousy, your greed for a more perfect life. So, it comes down to one.

Peace. It's ironic how it's the simplest, yet people hardly acknowledge it. It's like all we want to do is weave intricate battles in our lives, without stepping back and admiring the simplicity of it all.

So step back. Take in a crisp, fresh, new, breath of air. But this time, don't let it go. Hold on to it, every hope for peace.

So step back. Admire the crystallizing landscape, His sui generis snowflakes. Put your hands out, as if making an offering, and give back the abundance of peace you've been holding back. Sometimes, it just can't be all taking. Give, and the pureness of the deceitful snow will slowly melt away little, by little, until the world stops covering up, and the green unravels to symbolize your new accomplishment.

And then, it's okay to take. Take in that fresh, pure, air, and mold yourself with the wind to be the better person you've always longed to be.

Instead of leaving your grimy prints in the quivering snow, fly. Breathe out the pure air wherever you go, leave tranquility that you never knew you had throughout your reality.

It's true, you can only learn so much, so you can only do so much. It's important to accept your limits, how much you can restore before breaking yourself.

And as I stand in this composure, my boots packed and buried in the snow, I remember and I reminisce. The kisses, the smiles, the promises of an eternal future.

I remind myself of the pain, the unanswered phone calls. It was all last year. It's not there anymore. The pain, the loss, the hope I was held guilty for- I let it all go in one villainous breath. I give myself a second, a minute, an hour, days, even, to recollect myself.

Then, I'm able to remember. I truly burst open my eyes, taking in my immoral reality. I give back peace through one breath, and it's such a sudden change, that suddenly, I'm afraid to break.

But although I'm one person, it's His and my power combined that truly matters. I have faith that he'll catch me if I fall; if I break, he'll be there to stitch me back up.

So, I shed the fear I once had, and I don't feel worry or pain, even at the edge of shattering. I sacrifice all of my peace.

My equanimity spreads wherever I go, and I watch people go through the phases of confusion, then rememberence.

My own peace is restored again and again as they finally accomplish the last step- they surrender.

They join me in the air, where it's supposed to be feel colder. But we feel nothing but serenity. We join hands, and the whole world, in unity, spreads peace into every flaw, every obstacle we have made for ourselves.

When every speck of snow is pure, and sweet smelling grass starts to emerge, we take a step back, and let ourselves droop. We mold ourselves into a part of the flawless winter, until it all fades away into a mass of perfection, high above the untainted clouds.