Yours Truly, Celestine [SLOW UPDATES]

#2 : Then And Now

Lesson #2:

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come

― "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion

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It's raining today, and it matched my mood. I don't know why I'm so grumpy, but I guess it has to do with guy number five proposing to me in the middle of our school hallway.

Not only was I being pressured into agreeing marrying some rich guy I don't know, but my parents actually encouraged him to. Here I thought, being eighteen years and two days old was something I should be happy for because I get to be free, only to be reminded that I still need to live under my parent's house because I don't have much money.

I don't want to do what Brie did last time, by running off with her lover and only to come back because they don't have enough money to take care of themselves. Of course, my parents openly accepted their elder daughter because my parents do love us no matter what happens, but sometimes they're getting off track. My sister sneaks out the room to meet Nathan, again. As ritual, I would put my fingers on my lips, sealing it as my sister winks at me and out into the dark.

But today, today is different. I locked the door because I know my sister won't be back until another two hours from work, and the rain is pouring hard outside and it's making my head hurt more.

I have always loved rain. The smell, the noise, everything.

I thought of it as something to be celebrated at.

It was the feeling of letting go of your thoughts that you caged in, shouting it to the world, knowing that no one else can hear it because of the loud raindrops.

You can see the trees dancing with the wind and showering in the rain, as if it's screaming of joy.

It's a festival, a celebration.

When I look at the rain, it means change, a new chance.

That it's okay to make mistakes because they won't stay for long, you move on and learn from them.

But today, it meant different to me. The thought of rain as happiness was the thought of a innocent child.

Now, when it rains, so does my soul. When I scream for help, no one can hear me. Instead of my throat feeling better, it feels worse. My eyes get tired and red. My pillow gets wet and just when the rain pour harder, so do my eyes.

That's why I hate rain.

I hope it's not raining there, Future C.

Yours Truly,

Celestine.

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