Under His Spell

Prologue

Four years ago, I fell in love with an asshole. He wasn’t an asshole in the beginning or in the middle either. He was an asshole in the end, when he decided to leave me without saying a word.

The thing is, I never saw it coming. I thought he felt the same way about me. I thought he loved me. But love is a powerful device. It can hurt you either way. Love is something that is not meant to be tempered with. Sure, explore the meaning of it, but once you have it you never want to let it go. And then something crucial always happens, like you accidently tell your boyfriend of two years that you’re madly in love with him and find out that he left that same exact night. And that day, I tempered with love; I said those three meaningful words to him, which made him leave.

I know how love feels when it’s ripped out of your grasp. It’s painful, a different type of depression that consumes your body and your mind and your heart. It destroys whatever insanity is left within you. It makes you different; it changes what was once you. But some people are lucky enough to fall aimlessly back in love and break the barrier that they put up to protect themselves. Their able to become themselves again.

I know how love feels when you finally realize what that feeling is. It feels like it is the best thing in the world, that with it, you can overcome anything. It makes you feel like you can fly; that you are free and capable of anything. It’s such a strong feeling. It makes your heart feel full for the actual first time in your life.

But then hell happens. It happens to everyone with love. I just happened to be an early victim in life, at the age of 18.

I was willing to give anything up for love. But I was not willing to lose it the second I found it.

But that asshole just decided to break it.