Beast of Prey

Chapter Two

Jazz was thinking about Connie when the world went dark. For him, thinking about Connie was an all to easy line of thought - she was in New York now, living a life without him, and even though they were no longer a going concern, Jazz found his mind was easily subjected to thoughts of her. Their breakup, he knew, was for the best. And yet, knowing that didn't stop the rush of feelings that bubbled in the pit of Jazz's stomach whenever he thought about her. She was the best, his first, and now...she wouldn't be coming back. Long distance relationships, Jazz thought as he reached for another beer, are so not worth it.

In the beginning, less than six months ago, she had tried to get him to go to New York with her, to move to the Big Apple. Jazz, who hated New York even before all the stuff that happened with his parents, was against the idea but was still able to be convinced to spend a weekend in New York with Connie just to see how things would go, and whether or not his attitude about the city had changed in any way. After the weekend, and its many failures, Jazz knew that it was better for the both of them if he just stayed in the Nod. She could grow as an actress and find her independence while Jazz could take the time to heal and watch over his mother. And so, on a cold March day, they parted ways and Jazz kissed her goodbye.

For the first little while, the distance didn't matter. Jazz and Connie were able to find ways to talk to each other every day and relied on things like email, Face Time, and Skype in order to do so. They talked often, and Jazz was always in the know about the workings of her life - he knew she'd made a ton of new drama friends, and she was aware that Jazz's charges were dropped in favor of public pity. Sure, he wasn't able to hold her, or kiss her, but at least he was able to talk with her. For the first two months, that was how things went. And then it all changed.

As a understudy in a play on broadway, Connie's schedule didn't allow her to talk with him as much and, as a result, their face-to-face time got cut in half. Jazz didn't mind that so much as he was also getting busier. G. William had asked him for help to open a brand new part of the police department, and Jazz, needing something to do, had accepted. But when that project died down, Jazz was left in silence. He tried to call Connie, and text her, but he didn't get any responses. Before he knew it, radio silence was a commonplace. Jazz bottled it up, though, and whenever asked by Howie or G. William, lied and said that he was always talking to her - after all that he'd put everyone through, his relationship problems were minute, and everyone deserved to be spared.

However, just two nights before going to the bar, Jazz got his first call from Connie in months. In a rushed, totally scripted speech, Connie told him that she believed their relationship wasn't going to work out after all and that she had moved on. "Did you find someone else?" Jazz had asked her, his voice numb and hard. It took a bit of pulling, but eventually Connie was able to confess that she had, yes, found another man. He was a basketball player, looking at making it to the NBA and he was of African decent. He was a drama geek like her, and he was sociable. As she went on about him, Jazz felt his heart - whatever he had left of it - break into smaller, and smaller pieces. And for the first time since his parents, Jazz reached inside himself and turned off his humanity. Turned off the feelings, the words, the things that his mother was saying in his mind. Connie is too good for someone as damaged as you, Janice Dent whispered in Jazz's mind. Only I can love you.

"I hope you're happy," Jazz said to Connie once she finished telling him the story of how she and "Michael" had met. Jazz had tuned out most of the conversation, and tamped down the urge to scream at her, and demand a better reason. "Hey, Conscience, if this guy of yours turns out to be an ass let me know so I can kill him."

With that, he hung up on her and then let her leave his life.

For the first few days, the breakup didn't effect him. Connie had been so absent in his life already that he didn't even have the time to miss her or mourn the loss of his very first love. But when Connie hit the stage on broadway, it made news in the Nod. Howie called him to let him know how proud he was, the local paper made a big deal of it, and Jazz was being called so lucky, so damn lucky, by everyone he knew he was with her. For Jazz, this was hell. She's gone, he thought but did not say. I was lucky to love her, yes, but she's gone. He faked being happy for Connie, but it took a toll on him and before he knew what he was doing, he had gotten in the jeep and driven the closest bar downtown, aching for something to take it away.