Michelle and I were best buddies when we were young. We share toys, food and even clothes. We share the same dream of becoming a teacher. Most of the time, she pretends to be a teacher and I pretend to be the student. She is older than me so she has more to knowledge to share than I have.
I have this habit of not eating food not unless I have someone eating with me aside from my mother. So whenever it’s time to eat, my mother will call Michelle to eat with us. I loved it whenever I have Michelle with me. She always tells stories about food and adventures while eating. This made me even more excited to have her with us every meal.
Michelle’s father died when she turned four so her mother remarried. I don’t like her new father. He always asks Michelle to do household chores that interrupts our games and play. Aside from that, he is a drunkard. His smell irritates me. Unlike me, Michelle is kind and obedient. She always follows her parents’ words.
One morning, Michelle showed me her favorite doll, Mimi. She told me, it is her treasure. Whenever she has problems, it listens to her. She said that Mimi is her protector that is why she will also protect her from any harm.
The next day, I didn’t see Michelle. She won’t come out of her house. She just shouted words like, “Don’t come near me again. Go away. Forget me. I’m not your friend anymore.” These words made my heart break. From then on, I never spoke to her. We move to a new house that bade goodbye to my friendship with Michelle.
Years later, I was doing well in college when I was abducted by someone I didn’t know. He put me inside the car and I lost my consciousness. I woke up in a dark room. I was naked and I could feel my whole body aching. I have cigarette burns all over my body. I am a human ashtray. I don’t know what to do except to cry. I don’t know where I am and what happened to me. I was wishing this is a nightmare that would disappear when I force myself to wake up. I found my clothes lying on the floor. I immediately put my clothes on. I ran outside and rode a jeep. I didn’t care where it will take me so long as I could go far away than that dark room. I saw a familiar establishment and went inside. I found a phone and used my spare coins to call my boyfriend. He asked me what happened and I told it to him. I don’t want to go to the police because I was scared of their guns. I’m afraid to die. I developed a trauma and fear from cigars and weapons. I don’t even want to be touched. We decided to go home instead. We told my mom what happened and I asked her to transfer me to a different school---somewhere far from hostile Manila. I wanted to forget everything and start a new life. I lost hope. I totally lost my God.
Michelle heard what happened to me. She offered help. At first, I was hesitant to tell her what happened but she hugged me tight and I couldn’t help but cry on her shoulders. She comforted me and our memories as children flashed in my head. I told her I wouldn’t forgive those who have ruined my future. She told me to forgive them and go on with my life. “You will just hate yourself if you don’t open your heart to forgiveness,” she said.
“Who are you to say those words? You do not know anything about what I feel. You can just say those words because you are not the one who’s future has been ruined and you haven’t felt the pain that I am feeling right now,” I said.
“I do,” she said. “I was raped by my stepdad.”
The day Michelle shouted, “Don’t come near me again. Go away. Forget me. I’m not your friend anymore,” I found something at their backyard. It was Mimi, its dress was worn out and its face was bloodstained. “Mimi is my protector that is why I will also protect her from any harm,” Michelle’s young voice echoed in my head.
“I have forgiven my stepdad. Forgive those who had brought you harm. If you open your heart to forgiveness, chances are you will wash away the pain, eventually,” she said.
From then on, I have forgiven those people. I have decided to pursue education to inspire others and help those, who have experiences like mine. That is the day I found God. I am sure he has planned this to happen so that I may become an inspiration to others. He is right. I have inspired people. There is really a God: a God who would not give you problems you cannot handle.
