kpop and chill → yoonmin

fifteen

Namjoon sat in the chair across from Jimin like he always did, and listened as his best friend rambled on about his boyfriend. Namjoon, although he felt like Yoongi wouldn't hurt Jimin like he did before, felt horrible for keeping it a secret that he and Yoongi had once been 'together.'

"— and I just really don't know why you didn't like him before. Like he's so nice to me all the time, and he's understanding like the other day I really didn't want to get — ah, frisky? I don't know, it's embarrassing — and he was completely fine with it and he held be while I internally freaked out. Can you tell me why you didn't like him? I won't hold it against you, I mean, you're my best friend." Jimin smiled at Namjoon, who shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I just didn't trust him, that's all." Namjoon said. He looked down at his hands and tried to be cool, hoping Jimin wouldn't pick up on his lie.

"Namjoon, I am your best friend. Do you really think I don't know when you're lying? Come on, just tell me." Jimin said. He was confused as to why Namjoon wouldn't tell him why he didn't like Yoongi. Was it that terrible? Or did Namjoon not trust Jimin?

"Jimin, seriously, can we drop this subject, please?" Namjoon asked. He looked around Jimin's room, eyes landing on the picture of him and Yoongi asleep. Of course, it was cute, Namjoon would admit to that, but it sort of hurt him that Yoongi was never that way with him — especially after Namjoon did everything he could to please the older boy.

"No, Namjoon. I want to know why you didn't — or still don't — like him. You two are important to me, if you two can't get along then I'll have to break up with him." Namjoon's head turned back to look at Jimin so quickly he thought for a second he'd broken it.

"Don't do that, Jimin. You're happy, I can't ruin that based on something that happened in the past." Namjoon said. He couldn't imagine ever breaking Jimin up with any of his boyfriends, even if it was Min Yoongi. Truthfully, Namjoon hadn't seen Jimin this lively and bubbly in a long time, and he didn't want it to end just because he slept with Yoongi a few times.

"If I have to, I will. Yoongi's important to me, sure, but you've been with me through thick and thin. I'm not going to throw away a long friendship because of someone I've known for a few months. Please, Namjoon, just tell me. You're making me nervous." Jimin begged. He didn't want to break up with Yoongi, but if he had to to get Namjoon to trust him again, he would.

"Jimin," Namjoon sighed, resting his forehead in his palm. Jimin looked like he was about to cry with frustration, and Namjoon covered his face with his hand. "You can't let what I'm about to tell you effect your relationship with Yoongi, okay? It's all in the past, I'm over it. Yoongi's over it."

Jimin's stomach dropped. Namjoon didn't even have to tell him anymore, because he was sure he had a pretty good idea as to why Namjoon didn't like Yoongi very much. He broke his heart.

"A few years ago, Yoongi and I met in the park—"

"The duck park?" Jimin asked quietly. He wondered if Yoongi had made memories with everyone at the duck park, not just with him.

"Jimin, I told you, it's in the past. Now you wanted to know, should I stop?" Jimin shook his head and Namjoon sighed. "We met in the park, and then we started seeing each other. Not like boyfriends, but we'd meet up once a week for a quick fuck and then go our separate ways. We agreed not to get attached to each other, but when someone takes your virginity, well, it's hard not to feel some connection to them. So I fell for Yoongi and he didn't fall for me, and we stopped seeing each other after I confessed to him."

Namjoon looked over at Jimin, who was staring down at the pillow in his lap blankly. "I was afraid he'd use you for sex, so I didn't want you around him. I didn't want you to be a—"

"A fuck and run. Yeah, you told me." Jimin said. He didn't look up from his hands until Namjoon walked over and tapped his cheek. Jimin looked up, and Namjoon could see the apprehension clear in his eyes.

"Look, I told you, it's all in the past. Yoongi likes you now, and you like Yoongi. Don't let my past effect your future, Jimin. Now, I can see you want to be alone, so I'm going to go. But don't get it into your head that Yoongi feels any less about you, okay?" Namjoon said. Jimin nodded and Namjoon left him.

Jimin looked at himself in the mirror hanging from the back of his door. Namjoon was so good looking. Was he good looking enough for Yoongi? Maybe he should start letting Yoongi have his way with him?

Jimin laid down on his bed and pressed his pillow against his face. He thought about what Namjoon said, "don't let my past effect your future, Jimin."

Jimin couldn't help but wonder if he was good enough.

—

finally getting to the conflict jesus that took a long time
also I love how every time I type "cute" everyone's immediate reaction is :: JACKSOOOOOOOON

( btw follow me on twitter for bts, selfies & bants @taewanese )