I Am a Soldier?

The Toilet Is My Friend

April picked up the plastic stick she had peed on five minutes ago. As she looked down, she read the result. She looked at the other two sticks. All three of them had the same word:

Pregnant

"What do you know, I can pass a test," April muttered to herself.

Shock and fear made her heart race, but there was another deeper and stronger emotion. Joy. There was no explanation for it. Nothing about this situation was right. She wasn't married, not even in a relationship. The father of her baby would be going to Tulane in a month. She had no emotional support here. Her finances were OK, but not ideal. She had gotten her job back at Seattle Grace, but it came with a resident's salary. Both of her roommates were leaving, so she needed to find a smaller and cheaper place.

Thinking of her parents' reaction to her news brought a sharp pain to her heart. Her parents would be ashamed of and disappointed in her. They expected her to be married when she got pregnant. They expected her to be a virgin until she got married.

She had expected that as well. Even though she had that thing with Alex, she had truly wanted to wait until her wedding night. Trying to hook up with Alex had been stupid. When they had started kissing, warning bells went off and a twinge of guilt started to set in. Everything had started so fast, she soon realized this wasn't what she wanted. She asked him to slow down. She had foolishly thought they could just kiss for a while until she got her thoughts together. Although Alex had been the one to walk out, she knew that she would have eventually stopped him before anything too serious happened. With Jackson, there had been no dings of alarm or pings of guilt to slow her down. She hadn't stopped once to think about the consequences.

All of the negatives swirled in her brain, but one happy thought remained. She was going to have a baby. She was going to be a mom.

Her hand covered her stomach. "Hello, little one," she cooed to her unborn baby. "I'm your mama."

Memories of her child's conception flooded back. Her impulsiveness during the fight. Kissing Jackson and having him kiss her back. Jackson walking her backwards into the hotel room. Clothes coming off. Her virginity lost. The shame afterwards. The next day's freak out. Talking to Jackson in the bathroom. Jackson locking the door. Kissing him again. Being lifted and carried to a bathroom stall where...

April mentally shook herself. What was she doing? There was no point in reliving those memories. She had many decisions to make. The first of which was how to tell Jackson he was going to be a dad.

April sat next to the bathtub after throwing up her dinner. Apparently, morning sickness happened anytime. She couldn't remember the last time she had properly digested her food. It had been weeks. She pressed her face against the cold ceramic of the tub, her truest friend during times of queasiness.

"I'm guessing you're not a big fan of macaroni and cheese," she whispered to the baby inside her belly.