My dearest

The last thoughts

Komugi

I'm just an ignorant fool. I don't know the ways of society. I'm weak; so weak, I can never make anyone happy.

If it weren't for Gungi, the only game- game?- the only skill I possess, I would be nothing more than dead weight. A simple, heavy bother. Sometimes, I think, I don't have a reason to like myself either. I mean, what am I? Just a filthy wretch obsessed with Gungi.

I don't deserve happiness. I don't feel bad enough for the filth I really am. I don't even have common sense...well...that's what I was told in the least. Besides, I can't always depend on Gungi. What if I'm defeated someday? Then, who will accept me? I'll become the bother that very day. And my family...they'll probably suffer again.

That's how much of an inferior I am.

Then why...? Why do I feel so light now? I feel elated. A wretch like me, a lowlife like me...

Do I truly deserve it? Do I really deserve this pure feeling you gave me? Is it alright to accept someone as inferior as me? Just one moment of this was too much, but you never said a word.

You never faltered. You didn't reprimand me. You never asked for anything in return. You just clacked the piece of your move against the wood of the board in utter silence. You were a royalty. Your strength, brilliance and rationality so much more than anyone. Your aura so regal, that even the enemy would bow down in respect before challenging you. Your mind so sharp that even the mightiest of the cheap evil trickery couldn't pin you down. You knew you wouldn't stay around much longer, yet you didn't mourn it. You only gave me one little thing I'd ever wished for.

So don't leave me alone now. Don't just wither away and let me stay in this cold world. Don't believe that I'll now be able to live without you.

Yes, please.

I have bore enough. I've been happy enough. I've not played Gungi enough. I want one last game.

Yes, like this?

The game of Gungi that you started isn't finished yet. In the end, even in your final breaths, you chose to be with me. You chose to start a fresh game over anything in the world. So now I, too, choose to be with you.

I'll be joining you soon, Meruem-sama.

Meruem

I thought genius came with strength in every aspect. I thought rationality, justice and strength made one perfect. I thought that sheer brilliance and common sense was enough for you to be complete. But I was wrong. Utterly incorrect.

The only genius I ever knew was probably the fragilest human alive, with little worldly knowledge, lacking highly in sensitiveness of rationality or justice. Nothing but Gungi ran through her blood. Gungi, Gungi, Gungi, and just some more of Gungi. She was dedicated. She bet her life on every game she played. Life! She bet her life! But even so, she wasn't incomplete. She was very content. Free from the lust of desires or the fear that haunted people to their deaths. She had even little to ask for than she could give. And though there was only one thing shed ever asked for, despite being someone as rational, strong and brilliant as I was said to be, I couldn't give her the one thing she wanted. I never lived up to the extent of being capable of competing with her.

Because by the time my mind was getting tired, hers had only just begin to grow. I thought I'd defeat her. Ironical, isn't it? I've only few moments to live, but in the end, I never, ever once defeated her.

I'll probably never be able to make it up to you for what you taught me. I'll probably never see you again. I'll probably never be able to thank Neferpitou, Shaiapouf and Methnoyoupi for their selfless loyalty to me. I'll probably never be able to ask my mother for forgiveness and immaturity of mine that killed her. I'll probably never thank that old man for telling me what my name was. I'll probably never...

Well, that doesn't matter now. I can't think straight anymore. My head feels heavy.

Can I rest my head on your lap, Komugi?

I'm sorry, Komugi.

Will you hold my hand, Komugi?

Forgive me, Komugi. Forgive me for doing this to you. To drag you to your death along with me. To be never be able to competent to you. To be not be able to finish the game I started.

From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry, Komugi.