esoteric | Tradley AU

Chapter 8

Warning: suicidal thoughts and self harm references.

After he stormed out I left.

I didn't know what to do.

I wanted him to chase after me and say it was ok and he loved me.

He didn't.

I walked to the bridge.

The same one I always go to.

Therefore if anything happened he'd know where to find me.

I stood behind the railing looking down at the stormy waters far below.

He found me.

He shouted at me again.

Said I was being irrational.

I told him my wrists and thighs reflect how he makes my heart feel.

Ripped to threads.

He told me he can help me.

That he promises I will get better.

He said he'll do anything to make me better.

He said he wishes we could come out and be happy.

I told him I like that no one knows. I told him there's no simplicity that makes it boring.

I told him I love that our love is esoteric, only we know.

He said as long as I'm happy he is happy too because he loves me.

I know he loves me even though he never really shows me.