Diary of an Emo girl

Day 1

Well hi.. I wont even bother putting "Dear Diary," here. Well I finally found a notebook to write everything down. How I feel, how I think and to take my sadness out in here. In the end no one will read this. And if someone dose they will only ignore me after they read this like my other friends did.

Damm it!! I lost another friend!! Its my fault anyways I shouldn't have told her whats inside of me its too dark and deep for anyone. Damm it! I hate myself !! No one understands me not even my own family!! Its ok, relax, just fake a smile and cheer people up. Thats what you always do anyways. They wont notice.

Its just difficult to show how I feel nowadays. If i didin't have friends I probably could put my bang in my face and cover one eye to show that im alone, probably?. But I cant cuz in the end of the fight I lose and surrender to the enemy. Oh who is my enemy? Well all the people that criticized me for who I am and the friends that are only here for the happiness I eventually give for free. Well im the one who creates it and they take it away from me. Like stealers, who rob away my happiness that I make and I let them take it away. Im used to it anyways.

Gess the only way to get happiness is to get a boyfriend but no one likes me because im crazy!!! Omfg I have to many thoughts in my head that im getting my self sick of it. Well I do make some friends whit boys. Well I hope one day I can get some one to love me. Even thought I know it going to be till I am what 30!! Probably even 100 years old!! Yeah I will never get one! Wait... I don't even know who I like. Lets see... nop I dosen't look like I love some one let me see tomorrow I will try to pass near all my classmates and see if I get nervous near one of the boys. If my heart races I like that one.

HOW THE HELL DO I NOT KNOW IF IM IN LOVE OR NOT!?!? Thats ridiculous!!! gess I cant keep my emotions together but only sadness, guilty, emptiness in me. So I am a fake representation of happiness. Ughhh!!! I don't have much time left its already 11:00 in the night. I have school tomorrow. I should get to bed now. And remember smile no mater what happens.

Oh look my emotions are every where. If someone dose read this hope they understand all of it. Haha if they where able to know my pain... gess not. Well goodnight, sleep tight to me. I sure am crazy...

-You know who i am, ok?