Two Weeks In Hawaii

Day Fourteen

Neither Ryan nor Brendon got any sleep that night, even after the party died down in the early hours of the morning as people either left or passed out somewhere downstairs. The two men remained in the hammock on the balcony. Ryan laid back against Brendon and stared blankly into the sky, watching the stars gradually disappear when the sun began to rise up. He was tired, eyes heavy and trying to shut to get sleep, but Ryan easily fought the urge off. He wanted to savor every moment he could.

Brendon's grip remained secure too. His arms were around Ryan's waist with their fingers laced, and his legs lined perfectly along Ryan's as the hammock's fabric cocooned them. His head was tilted towards Ryan's as he too stared into the sky, watching night turn into day, with every vanishing star making his chest get tighter. Time was slipping away too fast. Soon he would have to let Ryan go; probably forever.

Knowing that soon he'd have to leave the hammock to pack, that soon he'd have to get on a plane and travel however many miles back to Vegas to pick up the life he left behind, gave Ryan that same dead weight feeling in his chest. Of course he didn't want to leave Hawaii, to leave Brendon, but he had to. He had an apartment and a job to go back to. He had obligations and responsibilities. He had to think of what to say to his coworkers because clearly he wasn't married, and he definitely wasn't away on a honeymoon.

Ryan was, he decided, on a life journey, instead. Sure, most people's life journey's take them to third world countries and exotic locations, but Ryan's was to Hawaii. His journey led him to Brendon; the man, who in about two weeks, managed to change his life. You don't have to go far to find the person you're meant to be with. In time, it'll happen; your paths will just cross. And when it happens, you can fight and deny it all you want, but deep down you'll know that only they can fill that void that's been gnawing away at your heart and soul.

Brendon filled Ryan's void. Ryan filled Brendon's.

Sadly, the same barriers held true for Brendon. He couldn't leave Hawaii for a multitude of reasons. He had the house his grandparents left him, a job, Mia, friends, and so many other things that linked together to make his life. Brendon couldn't just give that all up; and Ryan could never ask him to. Plus, Brendon despised Vegas greatly. He would never be truly happy there, no matter how much he tried to fake it for Ryan's sake.

Sometimes, no matter how much it's meant to be, it can't.

Though he knew it wouldn't work, Ryan figured if he didn't think about leaving, it wouldn't happen. This wasn't his fantasy world though. Everything didn't bend to his whims and wants. This was reality, and it was harsh. No matter how hard Ryan tried, he couldn't stop time from ticking by. He couldn't stop the sun from rising and he couldn't stop the plane from going to Vegas. Well, he could, if he really tried, but that would most likely land him in jail. Ryan didn't have to be on the plane, but at the same time, he did.

He couldn't exactly explain it.

It didn't take long for Ryan's stomach to let him know he was hungry. It was another thing that Ryan easily ignored, however, because he had more important thing to focus on than eating. Like Brendon.

Sure, he could come back to Hawaii, but he had no idea when. He couldn't just leave whenever he wanted. He would have to request time off and hope he got it. Then there was the whole money situation. Brendon would no doubt pay for Ryan, but it wouldn't feel right. Ryan didn't want Brendon to always have to pay for things. Ryan's budget wasn't that mobile, but he got by.

Then there was the fact that Brendon might move on. He may love Ryan, as Ryan him, but he had needs too. Needs that everyone experienced at one point or another. The need to be touched and held, the need to feel comforted and wanted, the need to talk endlessly for hours about absolutely nothing just to get it out. All things that Ryan really couldn't give him from Vegas, except maybe the last one; if Ryan could afford the long-distance time.