Am-big-u-ous

Chapter One

"Just stop fucking lying, it's not that serious. Look at me! Look at this! I know you said it just own up to it. I want to hear it." She's yelling grabbing her fat tears in her eyes that just won't fall and her hair covering her face.
Oh God she's so beautiful why can't she see what I see?
"Maalik, say it you've said it to your friends, say it to me." She's now standing face to face, three years have fallen one on the right and two on the left. "Okay I said it, I said you were big, fat to be exact. But baby you have curves, your beautiful. I love your eyes, your lips, curves stomach and all. But I have a reputation to uphold, and you don't carry that rep, my mom, friends, and family will hoe me. I can't lose my rep baby." I just made everything worse. Her face went straight, she had no emotion left, her posture straightened her fingers fell, the tears in her eyes dried. She was shocked, puzzled, disappointed, ashamed, and hurt all at the same time. Her face didn't show anything but her body language and silence told it all.
"Okay." She brushed passed me so calmly without saying excuse me.
"Baby sorry I didn't want to tell you. " I grabbed her arm kissing her hand.
"It's coo, I don't care." Her voice was so calm not a crack in it.
"Yes you do. Cry if you want." I opened my arms to hug her just knowing she would come to me.
"Nah I don't need to or want to. I'm good blood. " why is she so Damn calm? ........Damn..... I feel bad, I love her so much. I would never leave her for anyone. She's been there for so much, she's a true ride or die. She hasn't asked for much since we've been together.
"Why did you lie? I asked you straight up."
"I really don't know."
"Oh well, I don't care."
"Yeah you do. "
"No I don't. I'm just mad you lied."
"Sorry."
"Do you know any other word than sorry?"
She still had a straight look on her face. She cares why won't she admit it? She's not me that's something that bothers her. Me boy showing her off bothers her, her body is her biggest insecurity. She knows she cares, just admit it.
She looks at me and smile, "babe what you want to eat?"
"I can't have a normal conversation with you." I told her.
"Why not?"
"I feel bad, and you know you care. You're trying to act all tough."
"No I don't. I just don't care, I don't care what anyone thinks anymore, and don't feel bad I rather hear the truth than a lie."
"You don't care what I think?"
"No.....I don't know. All I know is I can't keep letting people feed my insecurities."
"Okay."
"So what you want to eat?"
"I don't know, it don't matter."
"Come here daddy." She walked towards me and I met her half way. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressed her soft lips against mine. Oh God her lips feel so good. Oh lord she's butting the bottom lip.
"I love you daddy. " she said pulling away, but I wasn't just ready to let her go.
" I love you too baby."
"So what you want to eat?"
"You."
"Ha! Cute, you think about it and I'll make it." She walked away from me with a smirk on her face. I followed her into th bedroom, kissed her shoulder fr behind.  "Baby girl you are beautiful."
"Thanks." She flops on the bed,she's not the type of girl I usually go far. Not by a long run, but when we first went out I couldn't let her go. I still can't let anyone else other than me have her.
"Baby be my wife one day"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Most girls would've said I dong know right now."
"Well most girls might not have loved you as much as I know I do."
I had to kiss her, I climbed in between her legs giving kissing not just her lips but her whole entire body. Right when I got to her pussy she pushed me away......why? I can't lose her, if I do I'll be lonely. No one will have my heart at best. "What's wrong?" I asked her. She laid quiet for a moment, I asked her again "what is wrong with you?" This time with irritation. She looked me dead in my eye and lied "nothing. Nothing at all." She pushed me off and walked out the room.
I could tell she was hurt, her eyes told it all and her actions told it all. Could I really be losing her? Oh well  use to people I love leaving me. Nothing new. I'll adjust.