(Clary's POV)
What is this? Where am I? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME SEBASTIAN? Where is Jace? I hear these thoughts as i begin to wake up, they echo through my mind all the time, well once she regains strength. "Sebastian, she's starting up again." I call down to Sebastian's room from my room. Our rooms are pretty similar, mine and my brother's. simple full size bed matching dresser and table.
"Really? Come on to my room then." Sebastian said. He sounded like he just woke up too.
I walk down the hall and into his door way he was sitting with his back to me reaching for the Cup. Its been about 3 weeks since I first drank from the it. The angels blood makes it impossible for me to be just like Sebastian, so i have to drink Lilith's blood from the Cup every week to sustain myself. Seeing my brother's back always bothers me, the livid scars that our father Valentine inflicted on him, they bother me every time i see them. Sebastian turns to see the pure hate in my eyes.
"Did i upset you?" he asks handing me the cup. he saw me shake my head as he turned to get a shirt. I drank from the cup again.
oh, ouch ungh..... The angel blood fizzled out and I felt stronger. i sighed and Sebastian stared at me as if he was waiting for a response. "Did you say something?" I asked.
"I asked what was it that upset you?" he pulled a dark grey T-shirt over his head, and walked to stand 2 feet away from me.
"Oh..." I blushed a little and laughed, "Its nothing." I looked away from him and began to turn when he caught me by my wrist.
"blushing for me? Your big brother? I'm touched." he spun me around and pulled me until i hit his chest. "Seriously Clary, what bothered you?" he had his arm around my waist.
I felt conflicting feelings about this contact... A memory tickled my mind but it was too distant for me to recall, it must be a bad memory from before I drank from the cup... but at the same time this felt nice, almost pleasant, as if my body was longing for this kind of contact. I looked up at Sebastian and shrugged "Its really nothing." i started to disengage myself from his arms but they tightend around me.
"Come on, tell me." he smiled and lowered his face to mine as if he meant to kiss me, but instead he simply put his forehead against mine and waited.
"It was seeing your back, it upset me seeing what Valentine did to you.." i sighed and turned away, this time he let go of me and i headed to the kitchen.
"Really?" Sebastian asked in disbelief catching up with me.
"Yeah, every time I see them it makes me glad he died. I wish you never had to have that happen to you. But i suppose its what made you who you are today. My strong big brother." I was looking in the fridge at this point. "But i wish you weren'y my brother." I blurted without thinking.
I heard him inhale sharply, and i spun to face him shock over my face at what i had just said, and again i felt this memory that i felt like i was supposed to remember, as if it were vital to my survival. "What?" He asked staring at me wide eyed. His dark eyes sparked with curiosity and something else i couldn't identify. No matter how dark his eyes were they managed to darken and he moved closer to me. "What did you say?" He was standing in front of me now.
my lips moved without my permission, my voice speaking before i knew what to say, "I said I wish you weren't my brother." i moved until there were inches between us. i felt a cold pang up my spine, the coldness of wrong desire i suppose.
He smirked at me, "I thought that's what you had said." he shut the fridge door and closed the distance between us and his lips were over mine moving feverishly as if he were waiting for this window of opportunity. and i was kissing him back. I wasn't in control, I simply was feeling it all, his hands on my waist , my back. He was everywhere and i couldn't stop. I didn't want to either.
