The real life of a real girl

Day 7, Sunday, December 26, 2015

I lied. I will update this book but only cause it is basically a stress reliever.

Sometimes i think i'm so pathetic. I've been missing the same person for four years now.

In the third grade i had a best friend called Noel. We did everything together.

Then she started drifting away. I've always been loyal to all of my friends.

And yet, they always drifted away.

There is only one friend i have who's known me since preschool.

Sure i've made new friends. Like Coolcat96398 and Racer_Wild.

They have been loyal to me although we've only really been friends for a year or two.

My preschool friend Lillian Smith used to be fun and full of life and cheer.

Now, thanks to certain people, she's miserable. She even said the only enjoyable time she has at school is at lunch.

That's when she see's all her friends including me.

I don't know why i care about people so much. First Noel, then a boy Brandon i meet three years ago.

I meet him over summer and we hit it off. Haven't seen him since.

I knew Noel for a year and i haven't seen her either.

My old friend Brooklyn Horstman stopped hanging out with us so that's another friend.

I feel emotions really strongly. If i hate you, i hate you with a passion.

But if you weasel your way into my heart. You'll never get out.

I wish i could stop. But i don't know how to. The higher the climb, the longer the fall.

I don't want my heart to get hurt. Yet i've fallen for this boy so hard. If i let go, i'm afraid the impact will kill me.

I can't stand another heartbreak.

I don't know if they notice but i can see all my friends drifting away. I don't have any classes with a lot of them.

And i'm afraid. Afraid of being pushed over that cliff of life.

And i don't know if my rope is strong enough.

As I am writing this i have no wifi.