UGLY. (Johlex)

dEPresSEd & UGLY

Date published: 12/29/15
(Major changes 9/24/16)

Before I start this I do not promote self harm in anyway shape or form.

Alex POV

I searched through my playlist trying to find a good song for the plane ride. My bright emerald eyes stopped on Fireworks by SoundsLikeHarmony also know as Tyler Hagen. He is a great friend of mine.

Flashbacks flooded through my mind of when Johnnie and I were in the music video.

Johnnie...

He was the best guy I've ever met. His jet black messy hair. Just the way his fringe covered his forehead so nicely. I loved how his ice blue eyes could brighten and darken based off his emotion. His face was never clear he always had some acne but that never bothered me. Even though he hated it. I always thought all your so called 'imperfections' made you more unique. Unique is far better than being 'perfect'.

God I miss him.

I remember the sand covering my shoes and when the wind started to pick up towards the end of making the music video where the sand smacked our faces. Getting to see the boy I liked so much so close was the best present I could ask for.

The best part of being able to be in the video was I got to kiss my one and only crush... Johnnie.

I haven't seen him in forever. We aren't dating or anything but I wish sometimes we we're. Only if he felt the same way.

Hopefully this plane ride will fell short, because I can wait to see Johnnie and his roommate Bryan.

Bryan was a little bit older then Johnnie. He had shaggy blonde hair. I'm not going to lie he reminds me of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. He was a great guy I mean he is really nice. I feel like i owe him from choosing me to be in My Digital Escape because I would have never met Johnnie.

I finally pressed play on the song. As the music fills my ears I decide to take out my diary. I don't really have anything to write so I decide to read through it. I untied the string that was around it and flipped through and found a random page.

11/28/14 (this is just a random date has nothing to do with their videos or anything)

Dear stupid diary,

'Your fat'

'UGLY'

'An emotional emo slut'

Those are the only thing I here at school, their has never been a nice comment spoken to me. (Just pretend this diary one happened before she started online school)

Maybe I am fat and UGLY.

No wonder no one talks to me.

No wonder there are so many cuts.

No wonder I-

I was interrupted by the sound of whispers I looked to my left since the window was next to me. There was a way prettier girl than me whispering and giggling to the girl next to her while looking at me.

"The blue freak,"

"She's so UGLY,"

"That girl is never going to get a boyfriend,"

I quickly looked away to the window.

Why do I let these things get to me...

A single tear rushed down my face.  Why am I so sensitive. Soon it was a waterfall coming down my face. As I wiped a couple of tears they were just replaced seconds later.

I don't see how Johnnie can even take a second look at me, I'm UGLY. If he did like me it would be because he feels bad for me or something.

I flipped to a brand new page in my diary.

Dear dumb diary,

The words won't stop.

I can't take it anymore.

I'm helpless.

I need someone... anyone...

But who would want an UGLY person like me.

I just want to go home.

I closed my diary and tied the strings around it and stared out the window.

'I will never be pretty I will always be UGLY,'

I turned the volume up of my song to drain everything out.

/////////////////////////

Thank you for reading this crappy chapter. I love all mde+ Tyler Hagen.

They are my favorite youtubers well and Shane Dawson.

I think all mde is handsome and beautiful. I made this book because I wanted it to be sorta different. Alex is beautiful. So don't take it the wrong way.

I just to made this sort of me different from the other fanfictions. Cause some they kiss in the first chapter and have sex by the end, and I just sit there like well that escalated quickly.

That is also why they are not dating really... Their relationship is really complicated.

Anyways

Vote and comment.
By3e3

A word I hate: panties

^^^ that was just something random cause well I'm random weirdo person thing.

Oh and her diary they are not poems some maybe but you will know.

Remember:
Stay weird
Stay different
Stay alive because you matter

Luv you guys!