Emotion

Happy to Sad

Entry One

Happiness.......this emotion changes as you get over from the stress that you experience from responsibility

As a child, happiness is one of the greatest things that I had to myself.  My parents were happy, I was getting a good grades in school, my life was perfect.......but then everything changed.

As a middle school student, my life didn't get any better.  I was in many after school clubs, my work load became bigger and it took me longer to complete.  My parents had to keep spending money on things that I really need, but I couldn't get everything that I wanted.  My parents had to file for bankruptcy for all the money that they had to spend.  I had to cut down on my personal life, which made me furious at them.  I was only down to two clubs: National Junior Honors Society and Band.  I really hated the fact that I had to give up my passions of dancing and cheerleading.  My love of becoming a baseball player had to end.  So many sacrifices that I had to made for them.....but I think that maybe it couldn't get any worse... But it did

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As a high school student, my whole life turned upside down.  By freshman year, my parents were separated and I was just living with my mother and my baby sister, 5 years old at the time, was living with my dad.  I went through so many physical changes that all my friends from middle school wouldn't even recognize me.  From my nice brown hair with hazel highlights have transformed to dark black hair with dark green.  I wear dark blue contacts instead of showing my original eye color, hazel.  I don't wear bright colors or skirts anymore, that was the old me.  The new me wearing jogging clothes or anything long sleeves.  None of my friends knew this change in me, but by the time they're reading this....it will be too late.

Junior year......that was when suicidal thoughts entered my mind.  My life had to be focused more on college and getting money since I had to help myself and my drunken mother.  But a few days after the feds found out, I was put into a host family.  My new parents wanted to help me, but I wasn't about to be treated like a charity case, so I never let them helped me.  My college counselor wanted me to go to an university, but I refused to go off to college.  I applied for a community college in Chicago, but then she also put my name into an university that I didn't even know about.  ACT, SAT, PSAT, PSAE, PARCC......all these standardized tests were giving me a headache.  So I ran away from home. School. Everything.  I was found a few days later by my estranged uncle who happened to be close friends with my counselor.  I was put on house watch and always had someone watching me 24/7 just in case I had another "accident".  They didn't have to worry about that until my senior year

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I'm so close to leaving this world that they call school.  I just want to graduate right now, or just drop out.  Well, it's almost time for me to graduate and when I do, I'm going to take off.  My graduation day is tomorrow and then I'll be off to school.  You just don't understand what it was like to be me.  I couldn't go to any parties unless they were at a house or it's a school function because my mother was scared that I was going to disappear again.  She was also mad since I was against getting a chip into my arm, but hey, it was my choice.  I am 18 years old and she can't boss me around anymore about what she wants done to me or not, except for the house arrest.  I was stuck for months until after the New Year when they finally decided that I was free to leave the house.  Prom season was just terrible.  I hate boutiques.  I hate makeup.  I hate hair salons.  I hate dresses.  The only reason why I went was because of my best friend Josh.  He didn't want to go by himself and didn't want to be bored, so he asked me.  I was wondering why he didn't ask that blonde bimbo...I mean girl, in homeroom but she already had a date.  I guess I was second choice, but turns out that he has a crush on me too.  I actually became happy with this.  So we started a relationship right after prom and we have been together for the rest of the school year and the summer.  We even went to colleges that were right by each other, Spelman and Morehouse.  Everything was just perfect....or that was what I thought