A Sleepless Night

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Another sleepless night.

I know I'm weary, but sleep seems to be hiding from me.

As I stare at the screen of my laptop, I wonder about life.

Life. Such a big word.

Hard to create, easy to destroy.

And yet no one knows the true limit of it,

When it starts, when it ends,

What really is in the middle,

Nobody knows.

And now curiosity dawns on me

But sleep was miles away from me still.

I turned everything off and started reading a book.

Once again, I was wondering,

But now I'm wondering about love.

Love. It never ceases to amaze me.

How one can say things

That can make him look like he knows everything,

when he doesn't know a thing at all,

How one who keeps hurting

Can still go back there and find another love

And repeat the whole thing again

Still hoping, still waiting

That there will be a person waiting for them, too.

I don't know why I know about this

Since I have no idea how love works

And this adds up to the mysteries in my mind.

Still not being able to sleep, 

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Now, I'm wondering about myself,

The whole me.

How can I be sure that the person I'm looking at

Is the real me?

It can be my mother,

My brother,

My cousin,

But why me?

Now my mind is just confused

And with my restlessness multiplied,

I went to bed.

Now, I'm just staring at the ceiling.

It's 12:18 now.

And sleep is far from showing itself.

As I went back to my previous thoughts,

I thought as hard as I could

To try and answer these questions in my life

But I got nothing. 

I sighed, disappointed of myself.

But because I'm tired,

I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Then there it was,

Clarity.

I now understood everything.

Life. Love. Myself.

It's all so clear now.

Life can't be measured with time,

But with those moments

When you felt loved,

And gave love,

And when you feel emotions

So deep and so strong

That they make you feel alive.

And that's where Love enters.

Without it, feelings are scattered.

It brings everything together,

Anger, Joy, Fear,

Excitement, Thrill.

All that feelings,

Feelings that can overwhelm

You can feel through Love.

And it doesn't need to be learned

Because it comes all so naturally

No one can teach it to you but yourself.

Yourself, myself.

This is the most shocking revelation of all.

I only know this now,

But without me,

My own world crumbles

I'm the center of my own universe

I can only feel because I know it is me.

I don't need to ask myself now

Why others can't be me.

We all have our own lives to experience,

Our own love to control and let go of,

And all these you can't do when you don't know yourself.

All these thoughts made me happy.

A smile crept into my face as I close my eyes.

Now I can see it.

My good night's rest.

In peace and with a smile on my face, now I can sleep.

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