Harold

Prologue

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave the boy I admired most behind. I don't know if I loved him at the time. Maybe if I knew, I wouldn't have gone. Maybe if I knew, I would have brought him with me. I was a kid. I was a selfish bitch who cared about one person; myself.

Helping him was impossible. I didn't have a cure. It was impossible to make him happy; to make him smile. He pitied himself. He was childish and made me feel bad when I didn't help him—couldn't help him. I couldn't give him what he needed. I couldn't give him the love he wanted. I couldn't fix him.

I wanted to, but I gave up. I moved. I forgot. Or at least, I tried to.

He cared. He loved me. He would drop anything for me. He needed me more than the world itself. But what he didn't realize was that he didn't really need me. That's what I tried to tell myself. Because how could you need someone like that? How could you rely on another person with everything you had?

Now I know, because now I need him. I just don't know if he still needs me.

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"This," I waved my hands between the two of us, "this isn't healthy! I just don't get it! I don't know what you want me to do!"

"Please, Atlee," he reached for me but I took a step back. Tears stained his cheeks, eyelashes sparkled, "please don't leave me."

"I can't, I can't do this anymore. I can't stay here and watch you destroy yourself."

My things were already packed. I was ready to leave and the only thing between the airport and me was the boy drowning in front of me. The kind, perfectly imperfect boy I'd grown up with and made so many memories with.

"It isn't fair, Harry. It's not fair. Now please," I begged with everything I had, "please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Let me come with you?"

I shook my head, praying he wouldn't drop to his knees. It wasn't something he hadn't done before.

"No."

Shaking my head slowly, I stood tossing my duffle bag over my shoulder.

"Let me take you to the airport."

Harry's eyes were red, redder than they should have been. He was tired, so tired. He was intoxicated and self-destructive. I wouldn't let him be my problem anymore.

"That isn't a good idea, Harry."

I stood in front of my best friend and put my hands on each of his shoulders, "you'll be okay; I know it." I grinned, trying to reassure him though I wasn't sure myself. His parents were great; he had support here.

"Atlee," his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me towards him until our noses were almost touching.

"When you feel better, come see me, okay? You know where I'll be." my thumb traced underneath his left eye, catching a wild tear.

"You're going to forget about me."

"I could never," I wanted to. I wanted to forget about him. But I knew I couldn't.

"I love you," the smile that barely held my face vanished. He was holding onto each fiber, praying to the gods he didn't believe in for me to respond. For me to say it back. "I'll always love you."

"I know you do. You're my best friend, Harold."

I stood on my tiptoes, kissed his nose and brushed past him through the door as fast as I could. Though I was set on leaving, there would be a chance of going back if I didn't hop in the cab right then. I was 90 percent bitch but Harry held 10 percent of my heart.

And as I drove away, not looking back, I brushed a single tear so fast an observant wouldn't notice, knowing Harry was chasing the car. 

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Hello! This is my first story and I'd really love it if you gave me feedback and voted and loved me because I already love all of you <3

The characters in this book only portray physical characteristic traits. One Direction will not be included into this story; just Harry Styles. 

This is just the prologue and I'm hoping to update once or twice a week. I'm on break right now so the updates will be descent timing!

Please, please don't steal my work because I work very hard on it! Any story that may be similar is purely coincidently (it all comes from my brain...promise)!

ALSO: this story will have sexual content, heavy language, drug and alcohol related sections, and a lot of heavy material on depression. I will give you warnings for the content I find the strongest. Thank you so much!