Saved from myself

My demons

When I arrived home I went straight to my bedroom. I closed the door and lied on my bed. I was exhausted and numb. My thoughts were racing and all I could think about was the new guy. I had made a fool out of myself. First day back at school and I already had one panic attack and one mental break down. Don't forget Joseph witnessed both. I just want to blend in and don't be noticed. I am a mess and no one can fix it but me, myself and I. I could tell that my emotions were shut off. That happens sometimes. My therapist told me I do it to protect myself. It could be a very good thing, but it could also turn against you. I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I stood up and went to sit in front of it. My hair was dark as the night and it was just sort of being there. I didn't do much with it, I would just let it be. My eyes were swollen and I had dark cirkels under them. The colour of my eyes are between green and light brown. I hated looking at my face. I found my face disgusting no matter what anyone said. Let me not even start about my body.. I had no boobs, not at all. They were just two tiny hills. I did have some sort of ass, but it wouldn't fit in any pants. So I couldn't really call that beautiful. I had a flat stomach. Sure I had to work for it. That is not so hard, because I was never hungry. The only moment I ate something was at dinner with both my parents and sometimes at lunch when Rena would make me. I heard the bell and rushed downstairs. My parents were out for dinner so I was home alone. The moment I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door I freezed. It was Joseph. "Good evening my lady, may I come in?" He asked with his usual smirk. I couldn't believe he was standing in front of my door. How did he even know were I live." What.. uhh are you..precisely..uhhm you know..doing here? Like in front of my..uh house?" I asked nervously. He smiled " I wanted to see you and I saw your parents leave so I brought you some food. Thought we could talk for a while. Is that okay Sophie?"." Uhh yeah sure, come in." He walked in and we walked to the kitchen. He took out three boxes of pizza, some fries and soda. He told me to sit down so I did. He looked for a plate and placed a couple pizza slices on my plate with fries and poured the soda in a glass." We could've just eaten it out the box and the soda could've stayed in the can?" I said while laughing. He looked at me and smiled " You have a beautiful smile Sophie". I looked down and took a sip of my soda. " And to answer you: yes we could've done that, but I like it this way" He answered while taking a bite of his pizza. " So are you going to tell me about your demons sweetheart?" He asked while staring at me.