Trust can Hurt

What Happened

After school I kind of regretted saying that I would tell Layla, I don't know her well enough to put that kind of worry. I just hope she will understand, or at least  act like she understands. If she panics when i tell her I am automatically going to regret it. I hope she won't worry about me all the time after i tell her. I need to stop thinking about it so much, just put on music. I put on my headphones, go on Spodify, and click on Twenty one Pilots album "Blury Face". As I am walking to the coffee place and "Car Radio" came on. When you think about it the song sounds like a break up song, "...I find it hard to hide it, my pride is no longer inside, it's on my sleeve my skin will scream reminding me of who I killed inside my dream I hate this car that I'm driving. There is no hiding for me, I'm forced to deal with what I feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real. I could pull the steering wheel." The song is about a guy who's car radio got stolen, but what if it was about a guy who got his heart stolen. What if this poor guy was going through a horrible break up. 

When i got to the coffee shop i saw Layla sitting at a two person table on her phone. Wow, she looked stunning how is it that she looks better after school. 

"Hey!" Layla says  

  "Oh, um, hey" there was an awkward silence 

"Okay, so, talk" Wow she is getting right into it. 

"You want a coffee?" I say changing the subject 

"Duhh, but I want your story first then I will buy you coffee out of generosity." she says with a smile.

I sigh "Okay, um, where do I start?"

"The beginning, when it all started, well if it came suddenly." she says in a caring tone.

"Um, okay, so when  was five years old me and my mom were going to Walmart and this semi-truck started to slide over...Fast. and my mom tried moving out of the way but if only made it worse, she drifted and put the car so the truck would directly hit her. She tried to move but..." I start sobbing and stopped for a little, took a breath, and carried on. "she died in the car, my car seat broke so i was next to her-" I take a breath and i single tear runs down my face "I -I  tried to wake her up but, she wouldn't budge. When the ambulance arrived and told me everything was going to be alright and if I could give them our names. I looked over as I said our names and saw my mom being put into a black bag. I started crying, screaming, panicking. They tried to calm me down but by then I was gone, I passed out at five years old due to a panic attack, five years old! After I passed out they took me to the hospital since I wouldn't wake up. I didn't wake up for four weeks. I woke up to the most devastating news a five year old cold hear. My mom dead, but not only that my dad killed himself on his fourth attempt due to the crash, now I was in foster care. The first foster home I was put in was great , perfect parents who cared about me, loved me but they were not planing to foster for long, their license expired by the third month. So, I was now put into my current foster home cause these people love to foster." I pause look at Layla who has makeup going down her face due to her endless tears. It's like she cares. I think about what this was mainly about, the limping. I sigh then begin my next sentence. "the limping was about me getting well kicked multiple times forcing my knee to just about go the wrong way but not enough so it just hurt like hell." Layla looks confused, probably wondering who did it. "It was my foster mom. She has done a lot to hurt me like starving me for two weeks, making me sleep on the cold cement in the garage in winter, burning me, whipping-"

"Stop," Layla says crying "you don't need to tell me this we barely know each other." she continues crying, but she is controlling herself.

"But, I want you to know, I want you to know you can trust me too, I want you to know that you are gorgeous, I want you to know a lot of things but most of all that will always be here for you no matter what!" I cry a little while saying this. I look into her gorgeous eyes and lean in as I see her doing the same, as we are as close as could be without touching I whisper "Layla you are the most gorgeous, funny, understanding person I have ever met and it would be my pleasure I you would go out with me." waiting for a response she kisses me, it was passionate and bold. I will take that as a yes.

Walking home I think deeper on "Car Radio" my parents were my car radio and I still struggle to live without them.