She Walked In Without Knocking. [BoyXBoy]

SWIWOK- 4

I've read every comment- I also know it's been YEARS. But I want to try to finish what I've started- if you'll all stick with me while I get back into writing? I'll give it a shot, just keep encouraging me please! My life has changed an ENORMOUS amount in 3 years, but I miss this.

-Cat

(If anyone is curious to know what I've been up to for years, I am going to start to write a real-life series on it. It's not near as boring as you're thinking, I swear.)

* * *

I looked at Tate desperately. "So what am I supposed to do? Just let her tell everyone?"

He shrugged off my worries. "I don't care if she does. Why, does it bother you?" He eyed me with concern. I turned away from him, embarrassed. Secretly, yes, it does bother me. A lot. I already struggle through school, how would it be if even the rejects reject me?

"Chance." Tate's tone of voice forced me to look at him. So I did.

"I love you. I have for years- but if you're not ready for this, I can't force you. But with that, remember that if she does tell everyone, I will always stand by you. Always." A tear came to my eye- no, dammit. I don't cry. I am a MAN.

I turned away from him again.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing behind my ear. "On the bright side, you won't remember this tomorrow. You won't remember how you feel." For some odd reason, that made me angry.

Flipping around and pushing out of his arms, I shoved him away from me. "How is that supposed to make me feel better?! Knowing that I won't remember that you love me until you remind me every day?! Knowing that someone is out there- right now!- ruining my life, but oh, tomorrow I won't remember it at all." I broke down.

The kitchen floor has never looked so comforting. I sank down to it, pulling my arms around myself. I could feel Tate trying to comfort me, but at this moment, nothing could help. I had to tell him what was wrong.

Reaching blindly for his hand, I grasped tightly when I felt it. Not having the courage to look him in the eye, I whispered my secret.

"For three years, I have struggled with my memory. Doctors have told me that it's a short-term memory problem, but every day it gets harder to remember short-term things. In all honesty? The clearest thing I remember is the day Sheila asked me out." Tate's hand got sweaty, but to his credit, he didn't pull away.

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and remember nothing at all."

Before I changed my mind, I asked Tate the one thing I felt I could.

"If you stay with me... One day, when it's too much for me to handle. One day when I can't remember you. Will you help me?" I breathed, not daring to assume he would say yes.

For the first time since I sank to the ground, he spoke.

"With what, Chance?" His voice was full of pain.

Pinching my eyes shut, I grabbed tighter onto his hand. "If you want to be with me, I want you to help me kill myself when the time comes." As soon as the word left my mouth I realized I'd just given him an ultimatum.

Without another word, Tate pulled his hand from mine gently, bent forward to kiss me on the cheek, and pushed himself to his feet.

I couldn't force myself to open my eyes as I heard the door open and shut.

Why did it seem as though the sun had just set on my future?

* * *

Sorry guys! Not much in this one, but it did give me a gateway to what I'm going to write about next. I hope you at least enjoyed it, for what it is!

Hopefully I will hear feedback from those of you that are still hanging on with me.