Having to spend some nights without him was part of living with Niall. You should be used to it by now, or at least get along with it since you've slept alone for years before you met him, but you found yourself tossing and turning in the sheets this night, reaching out for him, half asleep, half awake realising he wasn't there, and rolling over to his side to at least hold his pillow against your chest, inhaling his scent and drifting back into a dream in which he was with you.
"We'll have to stay up tonight.", he had said on the phone before. "I'm sorry babe, I promise I'll make it up to you. The new album is just... We need time. It's supposed to be good, right? Even better than the last one."
"I know it'll be better.", you had encouraged him, knowing he needed your support. "It's okay, you don't need to feel sorry. I'm good."
"I know you'll be good. I miss you though, baby. Sleep tight. I love you."
He hung up and you tried to distract yourself watching TV, but nothing on screen could really catch your attention. You walked through the flat you moved in with him a few months ago. It didn't really feel like home when he was not around. Everything seemed too big, too clean, too luxurious for a place you belong to. Yet this was your life now. Being an internationally famous singer's girlfriend had more advantages than just living in a house that others green with envy, but that one great disadvantage, having to deal with him having to put his work before you quite often, sadly outweighed the profusion.
It wasn't that you solely wished for Niall to be there and spend one of your lazy evenings in with you, no, you needed him in another way, too.
He called it "itchy" when he wanted to make fun of you, "greedy" when he got overwhelmed by your appetence, and when he implied it first, knowing you wouldn't say no, he'd look you in the eyes with that smug grin on his face and ask: "My kitty's thirsty, isn't she?"
With your eyes glued to a show you've never watched before, you could hear his voice in your head, see his smile, almost feel his hands as they wander down from your breasts to your warmth. You caught yourself moving along to these thoughts and stopped, because the game was still on.
Some months ago, Niall, who'd always insist of being bossy and a little cruel in terms of sex, decided it would be a "good idea" to forbid you any kind of masturbation when he was not around.
"This is just mean.", you had said. "And you're allowed to get off?"
"Daddy's rules don't apply to you, little one.", he had chuckled, cupping your face and pressing his lips on your forehead. "Let's just try it. I'll reward you everytime you last. And believe me, I'll find out if you lie to me."
You remembered his face when he said that as you pulled your hand back. You knew you could do it, it was just a silly game made up by a stupid little boy who thought he was the best lover a girl could ever ask for. But you enjoyed being controlled and ordered about by him like this. You always liked being submissive. So why not stick to the rules?
You turned off the TV and went to bed, keeping your hands off of you and thinking of sweet stuff instead. Wishing, Niall was with you, to hug you, keep you close, let you sleep on his chest as usual. That made you sad and you were tempted to call him again, but he was surely busy and you didn't want to come off too clingy. At least, missing him suppressed your yearning, so you could eventually fall asleep.
It was a horrible night, though. Gladly, you're barely tired as you hear the keys turning in the front door. It's him. He doesn't even try to be quiet, he just knows you can't sleep well without him.
"Guess who's back!", he mocks that Eminem song that's been stuck in your head for a while anyway. "Back again!"
